If Only We Were Us

7. Cold Blooded

I stared up at the ceiling of the extra room at Bobby's. He had taken me to get new clothes. It was weird, but he kept a respectful distance. Jody happened to be at the store the same time we were and helped me out. She introduced herself a little better and told me she was happy I was up and around. My rings were lined up on the nightstand, and I slept with the necklace on. I hadn't touched it in days. My hair was spread out behind me as my thoughts roamed over several different things. Sitting up I grabbed my brush and ran it through my hair before I braided it as I made my way downstairs. I sat on the couch as I was halfway through braiding.

"Hold still honey. Let me put your hair back." Able's wife's cheery voice rang through my head. I tied off the end of the braid and just looked at it for a while. My own mother had said those very words a time or two when I was a baby.

"I don't get what's so interesting about hair." Bobby mumbled as he walked past with a beer in his hand. "You just put it up everyday the same way."
"I guess I do it out of habit. Mom always braided it back during the winter." Of course my hair was much longer and a darker blonde now than it had been. Running my fingers over it I picked up a book on all things supernatural.
I was halfway through the book when my slide phone started ringing. Pastor Abel had gotten it for me. Taking it from my pocket I was it was lit up and a number I didn't recognize was showing in the screen. So I just sat there looking at the number.
"You going to answer it?" Bobby asked from the table.
I tossed the phone to the side. "If it's important they can leave a message." I shrugged. "Last time I answered a call from an unknown number it didn't end well." With that I went back to the book in my hand and Bobby left it alone. The next thing I knew my phone buzzed again, only this time a text came in. Ignoring it I flipped through the next few pages. Then there was another. I was finishing up the last page when a third buzz went off. A sudden burst of anger corsed through me as I slammed the book closed. Bobby looked up from whatever he was reading. What was so damn important? If it was possibly dean I would imagine he'd call back by now. But texts?
"You alright?" He asked.
"Just a headache." With a deep breath I opened up my phone to take a look and find the messages blank. Setting the book where I found it I pulled on my jacket.
"I'm gonna go for a short walk." I mumbled on my way to the back door.
"Got your phone?" Bobby asked.
"Yup."
"Knife or both." I held up the one by the blade so Bobby could see the handle. "Just making sure."
"Yeah. Dean would kill you." I spoke before exiting the house.
A cold wind blew whatever loose strands that weren't braided back sideways. I welcomed the chill to the air as I stuck my hands into my pockets. I had no clue on what was happening. Neither was I sure I liked it. Absentmindedly I made my way to the area I had been the day before with Cas and Gabe. I knew the angel wouldn't be there. When I looked to the ground my whole being could not move if I wanted to. Even though it had snowed overnight the angel was still marked in the snow. The marks of the left wing were still there. Almost exactly how I left it. All the sudden my phone started ringing again. Angry once more I pulled it out of my pocket. Looking at the number I felt like I was overreacting. With a sigh I accepted the call.
"Hello?" A wind brushed my hair to the side lightly.
"Hey. You haven't killed Bobby yet have you?" Dean joked.
"No not yet. It's on my list of things to do tomorrow though." I smiled a little. I was happy he called to check in. "Ten bucks says he passed out reading."
"I would bet but I think you're right on this one."
"What you scared you lose your money old man?"
"Hey!" I laughed. "Anyway. How do you feel."
"I'm fine Dean. I have a little bit of a headache that keeps coming back. But I've been up and moving around more and more. I'm running out of things to do. Bobby'll probably be running in circles here by tomorrow."
"I can see that."
I looked at the still existing angel marked in the snow. "It's been an odd week..." I mutter.
"You can say that again. We have about a few more days of this case, and I think we've already picked up on another. So it might be a while before we get back." I felt my eyes darken.
"Take as much time as you need Dean. I'm in no rush." There was bickering in the background before a new voice came on the phone.
"Ace. Is the snow still in it's place?"
I rolled my eyes at Cas. "Yes Castiel. The snow angel is just how I left it. Even after all the snow."
"Interesting- I....ll...ve... loo...ge.. K." The connection started breaking up out of nowhere.
"Cas? What was that? I can't hear you. The connection isn't good. Cas?"
"A..e...en..." All I heard was static.
Then a voice came through. "Little En." I shuttered at the familiar seeming name. "They are hiding something from you."
All the sudden the call was ended. Slipping my phone back into my pocket I started back to the house. My headache was back and my thoughts felt clouded.

Bobby was outside for goodness knows what as my fingers inched to my knife pocket. Spinning the blade I watched him. Holding the knife I aimed at the back of his head with a small smile curling my lips. Just the flick of my wrist. That's all it would take to just end it. If my supposed-to-be father and uncle tried to call him they may eventually get worried and come. Just as easily as I could end it with their father figure I could just sit and wait for them to come through the door. It would save people I'm sure of it. Stop the suffering of people and families. End the pain they caused. My eyes had changed. It reflected in my knife that they had darkened in color. Or had been. Furrowing my eyebrows and shaking my head I lowered my knife before setting it back in my pocket. What the hell had I been thinking?
With a groan I walked to the door to the house. I slipped inside as Bobby had turned to find me pinching the bridge of my nose. Thinking of what my mother did whenever this would happen I searched through drawers until I found a washcloth. I turned the faucet on and waited for it to turn cold. Once It did I drenched the cloth before ringing out the excess water. The door opened and Bobby stepped in with a worried look.
"I'm taking the couch tonight." I informed while I lay down and got adjusted.
"You alright kid?"
"Just a headache." I mumbled.
"Still?"
I propped myself up on an elbow as I furrowed my eyebrows and looked at the older man. "What do you mean 'still'?"
"You told me that earlier. Kid, you said it about nine times."
Letting out a breath I lay back down and tuned to my side. I set the cloth over my eyes. "No."
Just thinking of earlier made my head hurt more. Shrugging it off as nothing I set my knife on the table next to the couch as far away from my reach as I could get without getting up. All I wanted right now was sleep.

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