Lams Loveliness

Dear Boy

Dear Boy,

You write to me practically nightly and you have yet to say what I know is on your mind. Why must you act so timidly, Alexander? The words you whispered into my ear late at night whilst we held each other have made my entire existence worth while, yet now that we are forced to communicate through letters due to our unbearable distance, you seem hesitant to say them. Have your feelings towards myself been changed? If so, I understand completely.

I am throughly aware of the fact that I am not the most becoming person to behold, nor am I a well-endowed lady with black eyes that you desire so terribly. I am far too scrawny, and far too tall for my own good, so it is understandable why you are not writing these words to me. I am simply not what you desire. This fact, of course, breaks my very heart and soul into bits more numerous than the stars, but it cannot be denied. Why else would you avoid writing those words?

Nonetheless, I still feel the same about you, dearest, Alexander. The words I whispered to you that night reign true, even if your words were only a result of the time and place that we were in. You have stolen my heart, dear boy, and it seems that somewhere in the process, you have taken my body along with it.

I still have to conceal the rose petals upon my skin from our time together, even though I am not ashamed. How could I possibly be ashamed? I tell you now that it is the most wonderful feeling in the world to have marks upon my skin put there by the infamous Alexander Hamilton. It is like going forth and shouting "Hello, I belong to Alexander Hamilton!" However, rather than shouting, and allowing the petals to show to the prying eyes of the other soldiers, I keep them concealed as they fade into oblivion.

I am aware of how little sense it makes. If I am so proud to have been marked by you, why do I conceal the results of said marks? I suppose it is because even though I am proud, I am also terrified. Sodomy is illegal, dear boy, and what we have done is the epitome of sodomy. So, these petals upon my skin will remain a secret, for only us to be aware of.

Even so, I am proud to be carrying them, seeing as they are the only thing that remains of our night together, aside from my own feelings. Truly, I do understand if you do not feel the same, even if that thought shatters my very soul. It does not change my feelings towards you, my dearest. I am yours, even if you are not mine.

Admirably yours,
~Lt. Col. John Laurens

>>(Okay wow that was intense and also kinda sad. Sorry about that. I'm still debating on whether or not I want to write a response letter from Alex. Also, please take note of how this is semi-historically accurate, seeing as in all the letters that were managed to be found from Laurens to Hamilton all began with 'Dear Boy'.

Happy little fact: all the letters from Laurens to his wife all began with 'Dear Girl', no lie. Isn't it such a happy little coincidence that Laurens would address his wife and his 'closest friend' in the same manner? Even though in letters from Laurens to any other member of the Hamilsquad (aka, Lafayette or Mulligan), he would just start them out with their name, possibly their title if they had one.

As an example, in all the letters from Laurens to Lafayette that have been found, before Lafayette became a commander, they simply began 'Lafayette' or, on rare occasions, 'Dear Marquis'. Once Lafayette became a commander, Laurens began to write to him beginning with 'Cmm. Lafayette'.

Mulligan never got a title, other than aide-de-campe so most letters addressed to him from Laurens just began with either 'Mulligan' or the ever-rare 'Hercules'.

However, even once Hamilton became a commander, Laurens still started the letter off with 'Dear Boy', even though Hamilton was well into manhood. Once again, I would like to point out to you that Laurens began letters to his wife in a similar fashion, starting those off with 'Dear Girl', even though his wife was very much a woman (she was older than Hamilton by a year, and Laurens was older than her by a year in real life).

What does that SAY to you? WHY would John address letters to Alexander in a way similar to the letters he addressed to his WIFE, whom he was most likely IN LOVE WITH?

I've been talking about this for too long, so I'm gonna leave it at that. Also, if you've made it this far, CONGRATULATIONS! You got through one of my infamous rants without stabbing your eyes out! You deserve an award!

Xoxo,
~Bumblebee Cucumber)<<