How many times a day must I hear "Yo young bull really gay." Like OMG REALLY I DIDN'T NOTICE!1!1! and then there's the ocasional "He so fruity." That is just like saying "Yo water is really wet though."
I express my sexuality carelessly. I give no fucks. There's no reason for me to be uncomfortable expressing myself. Not unless everyone I knew absolutely hated the thought of homosexuality.
Being both is really tough though. My numerous amounts of relatives are sexist and homophobic. Every time I see my uncles it's always, you got a girl yet? You playing any sports yet? You getting tall, you gonna play basketball? You should play football! It's so frustrating. Like I'm clearly not interested at all in sports or females.
My aunts really don't have a problem with me being me and all but my mom is my main problem. She says she accepts me but everything I do she just has to have an opinion on it. I wear lip gloss, she says "You're not a girl."
I ask her why she keep acting like this and she says "You can do whatever you want when you're 18." That is legitimately in no time soon. Ain't nobody about to wait 6 years to do what they want.
My dad is another situation. Like yeah he accepts me but I'm afraid he's gonna act just like my mom if I wore lip gloss. I remember when we were talking one time when we were driving back from Lansdale and he was like "All that feminine stuff you're doing has to stop. The hand gestures, the walk, everything."
At that point I knew I was done for. Inside my head I was screaming "I'll do whatever I fucking want." Keep in my though, this was before I came out.
One time I sent him a long ass text kinda hinting my sexuality. I defended all the sexualities in the LGBT+ community and I told him about himself and shit. And then he pretends like he's the victim and I was just like ●-● okay bitch?
I was just so through. I told him he was disowned and should adopt a child that could make him proud and play sports and all that shit because I wasn't for his ignorance.
At that point he stopped being such a dick face and tried to be in my life and everything but I just don't like him at all. Many African-American kids my age don't even have a father in their lives. Call me ungrateful or anything but I just wish my father left once I was born. He's just someone I don't want in my life.
I'm getting off topic let me continue my ranting. So when you're black and gay the most hate you'll receive if from boys. They'll say shit like "He gay, don't talk to him because he'll try to suck ya dick." Bitch ain't nobody tryna catch an STD from your unborn children they swallowed. Black guys aren't even my type frfr. Don't hate on me because I have a preference
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We were made to love not hate. By me saying guys of my own race aren't my type is not me saying guys of my own race are ugly as shit and they need to execute themselves. I've seen a couple of fine ass brownskin guys and let me tell you, if they were gay I'd let them turn me inside out.
Excuse my dirty ass mouth because you will surely hear a lot from it in this book. I'm done ranting, ShaBye
