Poetry Of A Broken Heart And A Poisoned Mind

As the Sun Goes Down

In the morning, when the sun is but yonder,

You smile and laugh and I can see that you are trying not to notice the anxiety gnawing at your heart.

We eat breakfast and you plan the day because today is going to go according to plan.

You say goodbye to me as I walk through that door and I smile back knowing that I won't be happy when I come back.

You've stopped talking, and you've started thinking.

Everything you've been trying to avoid, is drawing into focus.

The lack of sleep, the lack of love, and the pain, you try to ignore.

It slips underneath your nose.

I come home from lunch and notice the change, but say nothing because the you I love has already faded away.

Time rolls on and the sun moves west, you're about to start doing what you do best.

You grab a glass and pour the drink over the ice.

You do this until the dark is here, over and over, until you disappear.

The yelling starts and I can't control the tears,

because nothing hurts more than a little tease.

I loved you when you were happy and had hope for the future.

But you not my mom, you couldn't possible be her.

You're telling me that I'm a bitch, because I ask for some more time.

Because I beg you not to send me out to buy you what's killing you but you don't seem to care.

I don't seem to matter.

I wish you knew how much I loved you.

I wish you knew how much I want to help.

But I know that the only person that can, is yourself.

Stop yelling, please, stop crying, stop doing all these things that just bring the deadline closer.

PLEASE.

Don't let the sun go down.