Dan and Phil oneshots.

You Have No Idea How Lovely You Are

Dans pov

Phil was off meeting family and friends in Manchester, and I was home alone.

After a good few hours of doing productive things like browsing tumblr and eating, I decided to attempt to clean the house.

My room wasn't all that bad, as I only really sit in one spot for my videoing and browsing, so I opened the door to Phil's room.

Should I do this? I thought.

He might think it's weird for me to be tidying his room.

I stood in the middle of Phil's fairly tidy room, as only a few sheets of drawing paper and American sweets sent by subscribers were strewn across the room.

I bundled up the American sweets, and put them on Phil's bed, then I gathered up the odd bits of paper and I put them in a pile on the floor.

These weren't from fans. Or at least, if they were, then they weren't making it obvious.

Then I noticed the signatures at the bottom of them all.

These were Phil's drawings.

They were really good, and very realistic. But there was something that struck me about them.

They were all of us.

Some were from videos we've done together, like the PhilIsNotOnFire's, AmazingDan, a day in the life.

It was nothing dirty, not like the drawings that some if the members of the Phandom did.

Just the occasional kiss or two.

Lots of cuddling too. Well I suppose, Phil loves his hugs.

I then went on a hunt for all of the drawings, and I came across a total of eleven of them. Some hidden, some not.

I slipped my hand under his pillow, and I felt a faint crackle of paper. Taking hold of the paper, I pulled it out from under Phil's pillow.

Dan, it read.

Dan, I could never show you this.

Because you'll never be able to know how much I love you.

Maybe one day, but it might all go wrong. That's what I'm mostly afraid of. If you found out, and you didn't feel the same way.

I don't think that you are gay, or even bisexual for that matter.

Even if you were, who'd have me as their first choice? You're too good for me.

It's never really been a topic of ours. Any relationship talks have been about past girlfriends. Nothing about being bi.

I can never tell you how much I love each individual quirk about you.

The little laugh you do when you're slightly afraid.

The way you fix your hair.

Your quick-fire comebacks, even the 'your mum' jokes.

They all make you special to me.

I remember the time in uni, where you were a bit low about yourself. Remember that old video? The one where you said,

"I don't think many people know this about me, but I hate everything about myself. Just ask anyone, it's true. But I am nice, I try to be good to people".

You had no idea how lovely you were, and still are.

When we first met, I was so nervous.

But something has clicked.

And now, I can't even look at you without getting this horrible empty feeling.

Because I know for a fact,

that you will NEVER be mine.

I felt tears rolling down my cheeks, I hadn't noticed it until it smudged the black ink of the letter.

He seems so sad.. I thought.

I suddenly felt sick.

If only he knew I felt the same way.