knock on wood | howlett

vii. then

sympathy for the devil ; the rolling stones

the lunchroom was always a curious place to her. children, of all ages and abilities, coexisted in this small space. there were no boundaries here, no adults to shepherd them.

she usually sat alone, observing quietly or smiling to herself about her conversation with james.

but after he stopped meeting her at the fence, she began to be more active with the other children.

she had long-since thrown away her sketchbook, full of drawings of him and sketches of the two.

she stopped drawing and focused on the anti-humans around her. for all she knew, she could be here forever. she realized this only after james was withdrawn from her life.

she began to sit with the other girls. to her, they all had better circumstances. they had better abilities, limits, and scars.

they bore dainty marks here and there, while she bore attention-grabbing scars on her neck. the white burn marks were always visible, always tormenting.

and always reminding her of how he heroically threw himself into her hell to save her from the demons.

the other girls never let her forget it, reminding her of how jagged they were and uneven and 'ugly.'

she sucked it up, convincing herself this was the best it could ever be for her: a scarred anti-human.

she also had to remind herself this was not normal. it is not outside-world normal, it is only mutant normal.

the bullying never ended. she was physically harassed by both girls and boys until she couldn't take it anymore.

when a lead girl had struck her down to the lunchroom floor, she stood. she closed her eyes and discovered a memory: the girl's rape.

she twisted it, drawing more and more pain back into it. she forced it back to the bully.

when she opened her eyes, the girl was on the floor and sobbing uncontrollably. the bully was a mess and, though beck knew she shouldn't have done it, she laughed at her.

a professor ran into the room and dragged rebecca down the hall. he dropped the sixteen-year-old on the wood floor.

he left.

she looked up at the polished wood door and a piece of metal was hammered into the middle, etched with the word: headmaster.

the door opened and a tall man in a casual suit crossed his arms. she stood, dusted herself off and let herself in.

"let's get this over with."

"don't talk to your headmaster like-"

"oh come on," she hissed dramatically and sat in a plush chair. her first time meeting him and she already made an impression. "if there's one thing i've learned through all the beatings and hatred here, it's that you can't allow it. you stand on your feet and bite back."

"are you finished?"

"no," she huffed. but they both knew she was finished. he sat on a chair behind the oak desk and looked her up and down.

"you're the one who trained with the torch," he stated and looked at the burn marks. "interesting. that's besides the point, my name is charles xavier. you may know me as headmaster or professor xavier," he stated. "i run the school, as you know by its name. so as you can imagine, i'm not all-too happy when i hear there is trouble among students. i've raised you all and taught you all better."

"raised us? taught us?" she scoffed and sat forward. "you're never here! and even if you are, you don't interact with us, you don't care. if you cared, you'd end the beatings and tort-"

"don't you dare say we torture you!" he yelled at her for the first time. he regained his passiveness, "you realize every school beats children? it keeps them in line. a little pain goes a long way."

she rolled her eyes.

"don't manipulate a memory that bad again," he stated. "she couldn't help something like that."

"maybe she deserved it," she stood.

"it's not your choice, rebecca."

"someone's got to make it," and she left. she headed down the hall and onto the beaten path, towards her cabin. her feet smacked the dirt road with every impact and she sucked the tears back in.

"how'd you get that scar?" she woke to see a nurse standing above her, watching rebecca's neck.

"long story," she croaked and cleared her throats with some pain.

the nurse shrugged and moved to the cleaning basin. she took out a rag and placed it on rebecca's chest wound.

"that's going to be another revolting scar to add to your collection."