Leo Valdez- Learning to Live

Chapter 1

So, I wrote this, though I don't really expect anyone to read it. I just wrote it for myself, I guess. Sometimes it feels like I'm going crazy, so here I am posting this to whoever's crazy enough to read it.

Anyway. If you are reading this, for the purposes of this story, Leo never met Calypso (though I totally love Caleo) because it just doesn't make sense to be suicidal when you're in love, am I right? By the way, WARNING! Suicidal themes, probably self harm, depression, the works. I live for the stuff.

Obviously I own nothing, anything you recognize belongs to Rick Riordan.

Leo played with the gun in his hands. He had decided. He was going to do it tomorrow.

It was perfect; it was the anniversary of his mother's death. The day he killed her. He should've died instead, he wished everyday that he had died instead. But even if he couldn't get her back, at least he could join her. Maybe they'd let him see her for a second before sending him off to eternal punishment. Not that he deserved it.

He was so done with this life. The war had ended months ago, but he barely saw his friends nowadays. It had been an entire three days since he had left Bunker 9, and not a single one of his "friends" had bothered to check on him. It felt like they only talked to him when they needed help with something, but they completely ignored the fact that he needed help with something, too.

His depression.

He'd tried to fight it for so long, but he couldn't hold on any longer. He absolutely hated himself, hated that he was a murderer, hated what he had put poor Percy and Annabeth through, hated himself for every mistake he had ever made.

He hated himself for being so weak.

Leo gazed longingly at the gun. He had made it himself, worked long and hard over it. It was beautiful. He wished he could get it over with right now.

He held the gun experimentally to the side of his head. He relished the feeling of the cold, harsh metal against his skin. He itched to pull the trigger, but held back; the gun was on safety anyway.

Suddenly, the door was shoved open.

"Hey Leo, we really need your help with-" Jason froze when he saw Leo, who had hastily dropped the gun to his lap.

"Hey, Leo, what's going on?" Jason asked cautiously. "Is that... Is that a gun?"

Leo tried desperately to smile. "Oh, hey Sparky! Long time, no see! Uh yeah, it's just, um, something I'm working on."

"Oh... I see," Jason said, frowning. "Say, I haven't seen you around lately, are you doing okay?"

Leo cursed internally. As if Jason actually cared. And even if he did, he shouldn't. Nobody should care about Leo Valdez.

"I'm fine. Please leave." Leo's smile was more like a grimace now.

But Jason was starting to get really concerned. "Hey Leo, what is that gun for, exactly?"

There was a moment of silence during which Leo just stared at him. Then Leo cursed in Spanish and started fumbling with the gun. He hadn't wanted it to turn out this way, but Jason wasn't giving him much of a choice.

He tried to flick the safety off, but his hands were shaking too badly. He knew he had to hurry, as Jason was running toward him.

"Leo please, you don't have to do this!" Jason cried. "Surely you don't want to do this!" He sounded so confused, and so heartbroken.

Leo ignored him. He just focused on the gun. His release from this stupid life that he never deserved in the first place. 

He managed to flick the safety off just as Jason reached him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

A shot rang throughout the camp.

So, if you actually do read it, and like, like it, let me know, or I almost definitely won't actively pursue it. So, yeah! Thanks!