The Cupid Helpline | ongoing

#3

dylan | tahlie

"your advice worked!"

"hello dylan, sorry to bother you for the third day in a row. how are you? thank you for the excellent advice, it worked and now my boyfriend isn't pissed anymore."

"yeah all that stuff too, but your advice worked!"

"what advice? i gave you quite a lot of amazing advice yesterday, if you don't remember."

"the one about great sex! it worked!"

"tahlie! i don't want to know about your sex life!"

"why not? i was just telling you that your advice worked. gotta keep your employee of the month reputation going."

"has anyone ever told you how much you talk?"

"frequently. my mom yells at me about it at least three times a day."

"your family sounds really nice."

"it's great, really. four days a week of no communication, those are my favourite days, and then the other three are screaming matches between my mom and whoever nearest to her."

"that sounds as enjoyable as talking to you every day. oh wait, i'm doing that right now. i pity you, it must be horrible."

"you're so mean to me. i don't know why i'm still talking to you. i should just report you to your manager so that your face gets removed from the wall."

"you better not. it makes everyone here so happy to see my face all the time, even when i'm not here."

"i doubt it, they must all go blind from seeing your ugly mug everyday."

"excuse me, you've never even met me. i happen to be a very beautiful boy."

"is that what your mommy told you? because she was lying."

"i'm going to hang up now. i don't need to deal with that type of negativity."

"bye bye, drama king!"

"i am beautiful, tahlie! don't even try and deny it!"

call ended

"beautifully boy, my arse."