The Cupid Helpline | ongoing

#8

dylan | tahlie

"hello?"

"ah, dylan, you actually picked up! it's nice of you to finally stop ignoring me. i mean, who listens to nate?"

"that's not a very nice way to talk about your boyfriend."

"hush. what's not very nice is to ignore somebody for a week and then pick up and be rude to them."

"touché."

"touché indeed. anyway, why were you ignoring me?"

"because your boyfriend said he'd beat me up if i spoke to you and i'm not about to fight a little high school boy."

"no need to be so condescending. we graduate soon, anyway."

"how exciting!"

"no need to be sarcastic."

"oh ,tahlie, there's always a need to be sarcastic."

"well don't be sarcastic with me. i'm not very happy with you."

"how awful."

"if you don't stop being sarcastic, i'll, i'll, get you fired!"

"you wouldn't dare!"

"oh yes i would!"

"fine. i'm sorry for ignoring you for a week and i'm sorry for being sarcastic. happy now?"

"yes. see, that wasn't so hard, was it?"

"you sound like a mother talking to her two year old."

"i bet you've had loads of girlfriends with that charm."

"it actually works, just not on weird people like you."

"i bet it doesn't."

"whatever. you can go tell that to my three ex girlfriends and my ex boyfriend. my charm worked very well, you know."

"well i bet it doesn't work now."

"oh yes it does."

"if you say so."

"now, was there a reason for you calling me, or did you just want to be bitchy because i ignored you?"

"the latter. i don't like to be ignored; especially not by my boyfriend and the boy who caused my boyfriend to ignore me in the first place. i have suffered this week!"

"why? did tinkerbell not get enough attention and now she's going to die?"

"do you ever stop being sarcastic?"

"not when i'm talking to you, darling, not when i'm talking to you."

"i feel so honoured."

"so you should, tahlie, so you should."

"are you gonna keep repeating yourself?"

"yes. anyway, you should feel honoured for getting to talk to me every day. not all my customers get such special treatment."

"this is special treatment? i'd hate to see what awful treatment is."

"i just sort of breathe down the phone while they talk. it has quite a high success rate, actually."

"okay, if you say so. well, i've got to go now, he's actually taking me on a date."

"i told you i give good advice. now, shoo. i don't want your boyfriend to find out i'm still talking to you and come 'beat me up'."

"don't be so mean. talk to you tomorrow, dylan!"

"if you must. i'll be here, like always."

call ended