This Is A Fever You Can't Sweat Out//Panic! At The Disco FanFic//RyanRoss FanFic

*Disinterest*

A bottle of water was in my grasp as I was standing behind the microphone in Brendon's recording studio. Pete Wentz and Ryan were sitting on the couch next to the desk Brendon was currently sitting at.

I was sick. Everything hurt. All of it. I felt like I was dying.

"Do you want to take a break?" Brendon spun around in his chair and looked at me. I shook my head and pulled the sleeves on my sweater. I shivered slightly. Ryan stood up, pulled his sweater off and handed it to me. I took it and pulled it onto my body.

"I only need to do one more song."

"One and a half." Brendon corrected. I nodded.

"Whatever." I coughed into my elbow and looked at Brendon. "It's just stress. I'm in the middle of divorcing my husband and recording my album. I'm fine." I wiped my nose and then took a sip of my water.

"We don't have to finish today." Pete said. He was doing bass work today. Dallon was spending time with Breezy and the kiddos. That's okay, I understand.

"I'm fine." I said through a congested throat. "Really." I cleared my throat.

"If you say so, Agnes." Ryan looked at me. He had Matilda on his lap and he was strumming a few chords. I rolled my eyes and looked at him.

"How about you do your few lines? I'll take a break." I croaked and walked away from the microphone. Ryan stood up with Matilda's strap around him. He walked over to the microphone and stood there, ready to preform to his small audience. I took his spot on the couch next to Pete.

Ryan started singing my words. Well, not just my words. Brendon and Ryan helped write some of my music.

I kept my eyes on Ryan as he sang. His fingers strummed my guitar as he sang. It sounded nicely together. Perfectly in fact.

I interrupted everything by almost hacking up a lung. They all looked at me with the devil eye as I stood up and went outside. I pushed the door shut and shook my head. After I got some fresh air, I went back in.

"Are you okay?" Brendon looked at me. I nodded.

"I'm fine." I looked at him and snarled. "Really." I let out a deep sigh. The three nodded. Pete stood up, picked up one of Brendon's basses and hooked it up for a recording. Ryan and Pete both played their instruments. I just sat back and listened. And then they finished up the first song.

"We can take a break and come back tomorrow." Brendon spun around in his chair to look at me.

"I don't know why you keep asking if I want to take a break. You've preformed in worse condition." I looked at Brendon and shook my head. "Seriously, I'm fine. I just want to get this over with. We've been doing this for too long." I stood up and walked back to the microphone and stood behind it. "Let's just finish this last song and then we can finish. I promise." I nodded, looking at Ryan and Pete. They both returned to their spots on the couch. Brendon nodded.

"Whenever you're ready." He stated like I shouldn't be singing. I groaned and rolled my eyes.

"Okay. Fine. We can take a break. I'll listen to you." I stepped away from the microphone and looked at the trio. Everything spun. Everything went into a big white ball. Can't be good.

"Wouldn't be the first time she's passed out in front of you." Ryan spoke. I grunted.

"Next time we tell you to take a break, Agnes, take a fucking break." Brendon spoke. I opened my eyes and saw him kneeling next to me. I was lying on the couch in the recording studio. "Don't talk either. We need to preserve your voice so you don't fucking lose it." He stated harshly as he stood up. I rolled my eyes and sat up. Ryan handed me a bottle of water. I took it and drank half of it.

"I'll take her home." Ryan picked my guitar up and put it in it's case before standing up and looking at Brendon. Brendon nodded. I stood up and stood next to Ryan.

I nodded at Pete.

"No problem." He smiled. I looked at Brendon and nodded.

"See you next week." He looked at me. I simply nodded. Ryan and I walked out of the small bungalow and towards his car.

"I feel fine." I muttered, getting into Ryan's car.

"You just passed out, Agnes." Ryan looked at me. I rolled my eyes. "You're also burning up."

"Whatever." I sighed. "I'm not working myself to the goddamned bone, Ryan. I know when to stop. You know what's going on in my life. We share the same sex life for fucks sake!" I shook my head and then whimpered. "We share everything. Why? Because we're dating. And don't say we aren't. Because we are. We both still love each other. We're not friends with benefits anymore. I should've realized I still loved you when I saw you at Brendon and Sarah's wedding. I should've realized that on my own wedding day. But did I? No. I didn't. I was trying to move on." I let out a deep sigh. "And, as far as I know, you never moved on. Goddamned 'Take A Vacation!' was about us. I knew that the day I saw the album. I listened to two songs." I muttered and shook my head. I took a deep breath and placed my hand over my mouth. "Fucking Cape Town. I need to take a vacation? You wrote those lyrics. Did you even get over me, Ryan?" I looked at him. His jaw tightened. He had his sunglasses on so I couldn't see his eyes. The atmosphere felt heavy.

"I..."

"You never did. That's the problem, Ry. We saw each other on April 27, 2013. You saw me and you left your best friend's wedding. I mean, I would've left too. I was one of Brendon's best men so I couldn't. You left because you couldn't bear to see me happy. But... We never got over..." And that's when my voice went out. Perfect timing too. Great. I looked at Ryan and shook my head with disbelief.

"Yeah, okay, I get it. I do." He stated.

"But," I whispered and then whimpered.

"Don't talk, okay? You're going to damage your vocal chords more than they already are." Ryan looked over at me as he pulled to a stop at a stop light. I let out a deep sigh and nodded.

"You did get over me. I know you did. Brendon told me you did. Then, I waltzed back into your life. Brendon told me what was going with you and your husband. I figured..."

"You figured you could have a second chance." I looked at him. "I get it."

"I love you. Okay? I never got over you. You said it yourself. I never did." Ryan kept his eyes on the road. "You also just said you never got over me. You've also told me you still loved me." Ryan lightly shook his head. He pulled his sunglasses off and put them in the little compartment in the roof of the car. I stared out the windshield. My hands were folded on my lap.

"I took my vacation. I'm ready to come back now." He nodded. "I want a second chance, Agnes. And, I don't want this to be a childish relationship. I want a real one. One where we aren't just in it for the meaningless fucks. I want something real." He let out a deep sigh. "You're going to be single. You're a divorcee."

I went to say something but he told me to stay quiet. I'll damage my vocal chords more than they already are. We wouldn't want that. We're too close with finishing this album. And, if I lose my voice or do any more damage we'll have to cancel the album and everything else. That's too much hard work down the drain. I can't afford that much work. Brendon, Ryan, Dallon and a bunch of other guys volunteered their time. I don't want to be that person.

"Justone more chance, Agnes. That's all I ask from you." He pulled into the drivewhence he finished his statement. I looked at him. He looked at me.