Granger Guilt I.M

Chapter 32

Word to describe how I feel about Lucius Malfoy saving my life...I don't know how I feel. I am grateful but when I'm grateful I feel the need to repay them and I don't want to know what I will have to do for him to repay him. I wish I could deny to myself that I don't owe him and pretend that it was his way of saying sorry for letting my torture happen in his house, right in front of him, but I forgave him for that long ago.After the war Harry, Ron, and I helped the Malfoys so they wouldn't go to Azkaban. And they were one parole for a year and then Lucius and his wife moved away to get away from all the terrible memories. During their trial we learned that they were all death eaters to protect each other. Voldemort threatened to kill them if they didn't obey him. If it had come to it I would have done the same to protect my loved ones.

*********************************************************************************************************My eyes are heavy and my mind is fuzzy as I open my eyes. Ginny is sitting by my bed reading the Daily Prophet. "Ginny? What happened?" I ask confused.She jumps and looks up at me when she hears my voice. "Hermione! You passed out after Draco told you that Lucius saved you. You are really worrying me. You have been passing out quite often lately and its not like you, you never used to pass out." she says worriedly."I feel strange Ginny." I say."Well why don't we take a walk I'm sure your hungry and everyone would love to see you." She says standing up and walking toward me to help me stand up. As I stand I don't know what it is but something is wrong with me. "Ginny what happened while I was asleep?" I ask whispering to her as we walk down the hall! My legs are so shaky Ginny has to keep and arm around my waist so I don't fall over. "The Malfoy's and everyone has been trying to figure out who's been though this to you. They've been through all the deatheaters and can't come up with anyone who fits the description. Harry will be overjoyed to see you. Ever since he found out Ron was helping them he doesn't trust anyone. He's barely left your side since you passed out. Hermione you are the closest thing he has to a sister and he needs you. And that's why I think after we get through this you should retire as auror. And you can come live with us and maybe you could try healing. When we were in school you always wanted to be a healer." Ginny suggests.While she has been talking we walked down a flight of stairs and walked down a corridor and we are about to enter a room when I answer her. "Ginny what makes you think I will make it through this?" "How could I not? Hermione you are my sister! You survived so much. How could you not make it through this?" She exclaimed a violist getting upset. "Ginny...... I'm tired. I'm tired of running, and worrying about everyone I love. I can't live like this. This isn't living at all. I am just slowly expecting death. Somehow I keep evading death but when it catches me it is going to be slow and painful and everyone will get hurt." I say starting to cry. She just looks at me, her eyes filling with tears. After several seconds she says, "how can you talk like that? How can you just sign you life to some psychotic freak without fighting back?" "Ginny I am not the same person I was when during the war or school. I have nothing left to live for. You and Harry have eachother. Ron is trying to kill me....." I am cut off before I can finish. "What about Draco?" She spats.

"He will have to get over me. Ginny no one else is getting hurt for me. I forbid it." And with that I walk into the drawing room and it is full of people. Harry, Lucius, Narcissa,Molly, George, and many others. However Draco is not among them.