Stars Leave Black Holes Behind [HS]

12

Soon enough, Valerie found herself saying goodbye.

She wasn't going to stay until New Years. Wasn't going to sit with her family any longer and pretend she wasn't falling apart. Wasn't going to fill the cracks with glue and feel the pieces of herself melting off her face like candle wax.

It was a tiring thing to pretend. She'd felt it after her father died: the draining façade of pretending to be okay, and Valerie felt it now. Felt worn out, exhausted, completely empty from her time spent avoiding her ever-questioning siblings and her incessantly nosy mother. Val didn't think she could handle hearing her call Harry hers one more time without combusting on the spot.

And so with her bags in the boot of the car and her farewells done, she slammed the door shut and reversed down the drive.

Val kept on that sickly-sweet, verging-on-excruciating-smile until her family were out of sight.

The car journey back seemed to last forever, the barren, grey roads seemed endless, like she was in a loop- the dull landscape she passed just a repeat of what she had seen ten minutes prior.

But she got home eventually. Pulled up to the old brick building, and made it up to her flat.

She opened the door slowly, not feeling relieved despite finally being away from her family, she still sort of just felt broken. Empty. Nothing had changed.

She found Zayn probably where she left him, sitting on the sofa with a bong beside him as she walked in. It wasn't comforting like seeing someone you loved after a long time, but still, it was nice. Just nice.

"Hey," she greeted slowly, pulling her suitcase inside the rest of the flat and closing the door behind her with her foot.

Zayn had already looked up, and was smiling at her. "Hi Val."

She didn't really know what to say next, so she began to move silently to her bedroom, before his soft voice stopped her.

"Um, Val?"

"Yeah?"

"There's someone here."

"Oh." Valerie turned away from the bedroom. "How long will she be asleep? I kind of just want to go to bed."

He looked at her, and looked away awkwardly.

"No. Nothing like that."

"What?"

Silence. And then-

"It's your boy. Um, Harry. He's here."

And all Valerie could think as her heart sort of just fell apart and stuck together again was that there was a new smell. Something had changed. It was his cologne, still the same, but completely different in her musty flat. It was nice. Nice like wood, and like springtime, and like sunshine. Nice like lazy mornings and arms around waists and his head against her stomach.

It was nice like Harry.

__

Song: Skinny Love by Bon Iver

"Cause now I'm breaking at the britches."