Stars Leave Black Holes Behind [HS]

26

Harry was frozen where he stood, cloudy green eyes locked onto the empty threshold as he tried to stay calm. As he tried to remember that his body was still his body and his heart was still his heart.

But he couldn't. Not really. Couldn't even begin to think about what a heart even was.

Because he had poured all that was left of his out - right there, just now - and he could still see it seeping into the fabric of the carpet.

Could still see it merging slowly with the memories and the ashes and everything else he left behind, now trodden into the floors of the place he once called home.

He sort of suddenly felt like a black hole as he stood there, mouth open and fingers twitching. One that was all empty spaces and distant memories, all broken dreams and far away places that he wished he could go again. That he would give fucking anything for, if he could just bend back in time and wrap himself up in Valerie's arms once more, lay his head on her stomach and listen to the sound of her gentle heartbeat as she fell asleep.

Even the idea of it made his mind go numb.

Harry closed his eyes when the silence became too loud, and without making a noise, he crouched down onto his haunches, moving in what seemed like slow-motion as he folded in on himself. As his hands found his face, as he broke apart on the bedroom floor and wept.

A bit like a broken clock.

A bit like a faulty light switch.

A bit like a boy who broke two hearts with a slam of a door and had no glue to put them back together again.

The worst thing was that Harry knew he only had himself to blame. Because it wasn't Valerie's fault he left. Wasn't Valerie's fault he fucked up. Wasn't Valerie's fault he was a black hole in the middle of a darkness so great it was suffocating.

"Hey, um, Harry?"

A voice came from the door and it wasn't Valerie.

"Harry, mate, you okay?"

It was Zayn and he was peering in through the doorway, very confused and slightly dissappointed.

Harry wiped his hands over his face, drying the escaped tears with his palms, and stood to his feet.

"Yeah, God, sorry. I-"

"Val just left."

"What?"

"She left. Just ran passed me and left."

"Oh."

"Yeah, is everything okay?"

"Yeah- sorry. It's fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Mate, no offence or anything, but it's clearly not."

Harry's breath hitched in his throat.

He was out of line as well. Val was Zayn's now. Valerie wasn't his.