Finding A Way Out

Chapter 4

Johnny relaxed on the porch for quite a while eventually drifting off to sleep in the warm mid morning sun. As he had since coming home, he slipped into the same bad dream. The reality of his near death experience gripped his subconscious. He jerked awake sweating and breathless. He hadn't had a decent sleep since coming home from the hospital. While in the hospital he had been given a sedative to help him sleep. He was exhausted, but would not give in to sleep only to relive the terror that enveloped him on the roof. Johnny decided he would try to get a few things done around the ranch. He knew that if any of the guys were here with him they wouldn't let him because of his shoulder injuries, but fortunately for him they were on shift at the station. He also knew the range of motion exercises that he had been instructed to do when he had dislocated his shoulder before. True he hadn't started the exercises for at least a week after the previous injury, but he didn't care. In his mind the sooner he started the exercises the sooner his range of motion would improve. Deciding he would start in the barn cleaning out the tack room, Johnny strode across the yard with a new resolve.

He worked for over two hours arranging his equipment and cleaning the tack room. It was slow going, but he finally decided that he had done enough when he remembered the bedding that had been put in the wash. Johnny always dried his sheets outside in the fresh air. He went into the house to get the sheets. Having forgotten how heavy wet sheets can be he hoisted the laundry basket from the floor putting a lot of strain on his shoulders. If anyone had been there with him they would have known how much it hurt to lift the basket by the grimace on his face. 'Man that hurt. Maybe this is too much too soon,' he thought to himself. 'No I have to do this. I didn't survive that fire just to sit around while life passes me by.' Johnny was pushing himself too hard and somewhere in the back of his mind he knew it, but in his heart he couldn't stop. If he stopped he might not ever be able to start again. Johnny didn't realize the error in his thinking. He only felt the fear of not being able to return to his job, the fear of not having the nerve to face another fire and most importantly the fear of death. His ability to think clearly about his recovery was clouded by those fears.

Struggling with the basket of sheets he was finally able to get them out back beside the clothes line. Gradually pulling one sheet from the basket Johnny carefully lifted it onto the line. His dislocated shoulder and still sore ribs protested greatly. He tried to do most of the work with his other hand. Finally pulling the sheet completely open and securing it with clothes pins, he bent to grab the other sheet. Johnny lost his balance from the awkward way he tried to pull the second sheet from the basket. He tumbled down onto his dislocated shoulder and cried out in pain. Johnny rolled over onto his back and cradled his arm. He did not know how long he lay there in the yard before he heard someone call his name. He heard footsteps running towards him. Cracking open his deep brown eyes he peered up at his best friend's wife, "Joanne, what are you doing here?"

"Johnny! Are you okay? What happened? Do I need to call a squad? Do I need to call Roy?"

Sighing Johnny answered her, "No Joanne. I'm fine. I uh...I just lost my balance."

"John Gage you are not fine. You are injured. What on earth are you doing out here hanging sheets with your dislocated shoulder?" Joanne knew that Johnny would try to do too much too soon. That is exactly why she had decided to stop by and check on him.

"Well they needed drying. I just wanted to hang them up out here in the fresh air."

"You shouldn't be lifting these wet sheets Johnny. They are too heavy for your shoulder. By the way where is your sling and immobilizer?" She asked with her hands on her hips.

"Uh I...I don't need them anymore." Johnny had managed to get up on his knees and was slowly rising from the ground.

"Here Johnny let me help you," Joanne reached over and helped steady her friend. "Have you taken your pain meds this morning?"