Restraint

Chapter Five

I stood there in silence as Dr. Carson handed me one of the Plan B pills we had collected. I hated that I had to possibly take a life, but with the way the world was now, it'd be more cruel to bring another life into it. If I had my way, I wouldn't worry about pills, I'd just let fate decide my future. I took the cup he handed me, popping the pill into my mouth before taking a swig of water, making it official. I set the cup down on the table, letting out a small sigh as he watched me. "I'd rather he not know about this," I stated, looking up at Carson as he nodded slowly, sadness in his eyes. "How old are you? I've never gotten around to asking, but I've wondered for a while." He crossed his arms as he waited for my answer, and I chewed at the inside of my cheek as I thought over wether or not I should tell him. "Twenty-one," I replied softly, and his eyes widened a little in surprise. "My birthday is in a few months."

He rubbed his chin, obviously perplexed by what I've told him as he sighed softly. "So young. Too young for any girl to be in your situation, if I'm being honest." I narrowed my eyes slightly at his comment, feeling personally attacked by a man I'd grown to slowly trust. "I should get back-- Negan is probably looking for me." I dismissed myself quickly, turning on my heel to walk out of his office, ignoring his attempts to stop me as I kept walking down the hall. This building was like a maze, each hallway leading to another destination, and if you were in a hurry it'd be easy to get lost. I passed Sherry, who reached out to touch my arm in order to get me to halt. I looked back at her, already irritated by her presence. She used to be my friend, when her and Dwight first arrived at the Sanctuary, but after she made her deal with Negan I lost all the trust I had. "What?" I snapped, not meaning to come off as harsh as I had, and she flinched slightly at my tone before speaking up.

"Negan hasn't been with any of us for a while now...I thought you should know that," she informed me softly, averting her eyes to the floor as I thought over her words; I had to admit, it gave me some satisfaction. "Thanks...." I mumbled before turning my back to her, and I pushed myself forward, leaving her alone in the hallway as I turned down another. I could hear Negan's voice getting louder as I walked, and after turning the next corner I found him talking to one of his men. He glanced over in my direction, quickly dismissing the man as he stepped closer. "Where were you?" he questioned me, and I looked over at the retreating man before turning my attention back to him. "Carson's office. Had a check up...I didn't feel so well this morning." I lied quickly, and he seemed to believe it as he nodded, reaching up to brush some hair out of my face. "I was worried when I couldn't find you," he admitted in a soft whisper, and I smiled, cupping his hand that now rested on my cheek. "I'm sorry."

He pushed me against the wall gently, much different than the day before, holding my gaze as he leaned forward. Our lips connected slowly, and my eyes fluttered closed as I gave into him, returning the kiss happily. I enjoyed these moments, ones where he was gentle instead of rough, almost romantic. "I have to go on a run later today, have some important business to attend to." he explained, kissing me one last time before he pulled away. I frowned, always dreading when he left. "Can I come with you?" I asked, my eyes filled with hope he'd finally say yes, but I was soon let down as he shook his head. "No...you don't want to be there, trust me."  I sighed, giving him a small nod as I bit my lip. "I'll be back soon," he promised, kissing my forehead before walking away, and I had to restrain myself from saying 'I love you'....

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