The Love of a Foolish Girl (Hemlock Grove Fanfiction)

Chapter 9

I've imagined many things, but never have I imagined waking up for the first time in a boy's arms to only find it's my best friend Simon. I smile anyway, and bury myself deeper into his chest. He still smells like him, not that I imagined him to smell any different, I just hoped the smell of him would never leave me. Simon begins to move awkwardly under me, he's waking up, when he wakes up I can almost hear his smile and I hear him smell my hair.

"Did you just smell me?" His face is priceless when he realizes I'm awake.

"Don't pretend you didn't do the same." He says in a sleepy, rustic voice.

"Oh shut up," I say shoving his shoulder.

I sit up, making sure to cover myself in the sheets, Simon says interrupting my thoughts, "Are you ok?"

"No."

"Do you want to see him?"

Before I nod my head I start crying again, "I'm sorry," I say as he takes me into his arms. "I thought I could handle it at one point, losing my dad, because people die it's a normal thing, but it was my dad." I said between heaving sobs. "I thought I could handle it especially after losing..." I stop talking, I can't go any further in than I already have.

"Jax." He finishes for me, I nod into his chest and can't control the sea that pours out of my eyes.

"Neither of them deserved to die in the way they did." He holds me tighter in his arms.

"Eden when are we going to going to see granny?"

"We're going to see her soon, get your clothes on Jax!" I rush down the stairs to get his nice clothing, I shove him into his clothes as soon as he walks slowly down the stairs with his little oxygen tank behind.

"Eden we're leaving in twenty minutes calm down." Dad says.

Jax starts to point and laugh at me for my little freak out, I tickle his sides carefully making sure I don't dis-plug the cord in his nose from his oxygen, "Eden your silly."

"I'm silly, well look who's talking, Mr. I don't have my pants."

He looks at me with confusion, then I strip down his pants and run away with them in my hands. He chases after and eventually grabs hold of my shirt, I decide to slow down, afraid to make his fragile body any weaker. He huffs at me in triumph as he puts his pants back on, "Granny wouldn't like it if you didn't have your pants either!" He points out in disbelief of my horrid crime.

"But alas I am wearing a belt."

"What are alas's?"

"No its not-,"

"Daddy Eden just said AL-ASSES what does that mean?!"

I quickly retrieve for his mouth and cover it with my hand, "You wee little-," he licks my hand causing me to make my hand run far away from his mouth, I grab him once again and tickle him until he can barely manage a word out of his system.

I stare at the ground and I know no one's listening, but it's somewhat comforting to tell someone other than Simon. I tell the ground that carries my father and brother all the things that I know my father would want to coil his large hands around my mother's boss's neck for, or Roman as I should probably refer to him as. I tell him how my wrists still hurt, how they can still feel that tight grip ready to turn my bones to sand, if I had makeup on I know it would be completely gone from all of my tears. I'm in between my father's and Jax's grave, I hate even having to think of calling it a grave, especially for Jax. He was never really scared of dying, because he didn't ever really understand what dying was. I don't know what to believe, I've never claimed myself of any religion, but if there is something out there a higher being or a place where we're all protected where we all go when we die, I hope my father and brother are there.

After what seems like an hour or so of talking and waiting for someone to respond, I get up and set the flowers down on each grave.

"I love you guys." I kiss each headstone as if I was kissing their cheeks.

I walk back to the car where Simon has been patiently waiting for me, "Are you ok?"

I don't know how to respond, I've gotten so used to saying I'm fine, thank you after my father died and after my brother died. But I feel neither here nor there, I just feel empty, like I'm floating inside the case of my own body unsure of anything.

I just nod my head because it's the only thing I can think of to do to signal that I'm still present.

"What do you want to do Eden?"

I just shrugged in response.

He sighs, "Do you want to go back home?"

"Which one?"

He brushes his hand gently on my back as if he was scared if he pressed any further he might press through. "Eden is there anything I can do?"

I hated feeling like a burden on Simon, yet I don't want to let go of him just yet. "Would you like to come back to Hell's Town with me? I can give you a tour of the lovely sights of the town."

"Are you sure you want to go back now?"

"Not just yet I have something to do first."  

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Author's Note: I hope you didn't miss me too much. I know it's been long, school has been quite demanding of my full attention. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and just for a little apology gift for not writing in a while, there will be a new chapter posted by the end of this week! Again if you have an comments or criticisms, by all means comment away, and if you enjoy this story please vote so I know there a people out there who enjoy this. Thank you so much for reading!