Beating Hearts

"Circumstances"

I hit his shoulder with my fist lightly, in a joking manner; he chuckled as I glared admiringly at him.

He got up and laid down on his elbows which lead his muscular bicep muscles to flex, I turned back and took a look at my surroundings, everything was much more like a dream.

The smell of dusty wind due to rainy weather filled the atmosphere, so did the sound of the wind.

I glanced at Chad again to tell him about my favorite weather, and how it relates to when I was a child; only to find out that he was already staring at me.

I gave him the side smile I always do, and told him of when my parents were together and how we always went on family vacations and how my father always bought me coats in my favorite color, which was lavender at that time, and how he'd always chase after me as I ran to feed the swans daily by the pond.

He looked at me sorrowfully because of the condition my parents had, but in all honesty it didn't bother me anymore, I have managed to cope with the circumstances I was given.

I had no choice, did I?

Maybe that's why I never knew what love meant, or how to give it to others; I guess I passed it out in my own way.

I could've loved something beyond words and left it behind me the moment I knew who it belongs to. Even flowers I planted, if someone else picked them up, from my perspective they are no longer my property.

I've made friends back in California, before I left with no explanation at the age of eighteen, the reason behind my escape was that I no longer wanted anything that reminded me of who people made me, that weak, heartbroken, and miserable person.

I had built a new life here in Miami, no one judged me based on who my parents were, or who my image made me become.

Miami was my escape, at least; I hope so.

Chad didn't talk much about his family after hearing about mine, out of what i understood; they were a happy whole family, with fights that weren't as bad as when I heard my parents fight past midnight about who deserves to take full custody of their daughter or who deserves much more than the other.

Not that I'm complaining, I'm at good terms with what my life has come to and the people I have in it, But at times my only request would be to know wether I had an impact on their life, wasn't I an enough reason for my father not to cheat? wasn't I an enough reason for my mother not to be as miserable as she is today?

aside from that, I tried to maintain happy that day, for Chad, who was getting out of the car to get snacks so we can have breakfast.

He came back with five plastic bags in each hand that were heavy to a point where his veins were all showing, he was wearing a black shirt and a pair of black jeans with his army black boots, his brown hair looked like a mess, but I liked it that way.

He placed the bags in the back of his jeep and then sat with his hands on the gear yet again, he looked at me and asked me to get the David Guetta album from the navy blue plastic bag, could this date get any better?

I grabbed the CD and two turkey sandwiches from the back with a smile on my face, I was excited, I loved long car rides, and well, Chad.