Always There

ONE:

Ezra Brown was my best friend for about ten years now.

He was handsome, sympathetic and to top it all off everything a girl could ever want.

I could never have asked for any one better to be my best friend. Especially, with my life being the mess it is.

I don't have a dad. He walked out of me and my sister's life when I was five years old. The last time we saw each other wasn't pretty.

He shouted at me and told me that I wasn't as much his daughter as he thought I was.

All I did was defend my mom after he hit her.

The last words he said to me were "Goodbye Anna. Now fuck off."

Guess I didn't need to expect more from an alcoholic.

But, Ezra was always there. I guess that's what made it so easy to fall in love with him.

In all the chaos, he was there. In the calm, he was there.

And, when yet another guy broke my heart and I was indulging in a tub of chocolate and vanilla ice cream, Ezra was there holding my hand and joking with me.

I lost myself in his hazel brown eyes, and threw myself into his dark hair.

But, alas, he didn't feel the same.

No, I didn't ask him about it.

I'm probably the most used cliché in the world, but I just knew. The way he treated me was purely platonic.

That's how I knew not to have hope. Hope was a flame I put out a long time ago. It was a flame that could rapidly turn into a forest blazing and burning down.

Every time his hand accidentally brushed mine or his smile looked a bit flirtatious or even if the friendly glint in his eyes changed to something more, I squashed it like a bug.

It was never going to be that way.

I knew it, he knew it and now you know it.

***

It was the first week of our last year of school, when I approached Ezra. He was standing casually standing against his locker waiting for me.

His hair was slicked back and he was wearing a jean jacket and sweats. Not the best combination but somehow he made it look good.

The way he always makes everything look good.

"Morning gorgeous." He says, making my heart flutter.

I quickly scolded myself and felt myself glaring at the ground accusingly like it was its fault I was standing in the position I'm in.

Stupid love. Stupid Ezra. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

It broke my heart to see his eyes flit behind me after we finished greeting each other.

There was a blonde girl behind me opening her locker and getting out some of her books.

"You know, you should talk to girls. They tend to listen sometimes." I gave him advice, against my better judgement. That blonde girl not only meant trouble for my heart. I could practically see her breaking Ezra's.

"Please. Like that girl would go for me. She's basically got the soccer captain in tow. Nah, I don't need someone like that in my life. I'd rather stick with you Annie. You make better coffee." He jokes and laughs under his breath.

"Only because I've been making yours so long." I said laughing along.

His eyes lit up and his smile when he laughed was intoxicating. For a moment I needed to look away before I lost the ability to breathe properly.

"I need to get to class. You walking with?" He asks me suddenly, breaking through my stupor.

"Sure. Have the same first period remember?" I said and giggled when he basically facepalmed.

"I'm sorry. My mind has taken the high road." He comments and I laugh again.

"Blonde girls don't agree with you." I joke and he glares at me.

"Ha Ha. Very funny Anna." He says sarcastically, but still with a slight smile.

I laugh and link my arm with his in a friendly manner. I actually wanted to take his hand. To entwine my fingers with his and feel his warmth emanate into my fingers.

But, I knew I couldn't do that. That's not platonic and the fact that I want it to happen mean I haven't been trying hard enough to put my feelings for him aside to be friends. It means that I need to try harder.

"Anna?" Ezra suddenly asks next to me.

"Yes, Ezzie?" I answer, using the nickname for him I've had since we met.

He goes silent for a moment and I can see the reels in his head spinning over something. But before he could speak we reach our class and I detach my arm from his. The expression on his face turns disappointed and I smile faintly at him.

"Nevermind. Come on. Were late." He says and turns to the class to take his seat.

***

I didn't see Ezra after class. When the bell rang, he sped out of there faster than a hungry cheetah and I couldn't help but wonder where he was going.

But, when the bell rang for the day to end I saw him standing in the parking lot and talking to that blonde girl from before. Her hand was on his chest flirtatiously and Ezra was hiding a blush.

I could see it on his face then.

It wasn't going to happen so easily with us.

The worst thing was that as I watched, the blonde leaned in to kiss Ezra and Ezra let her.

My heart took a leap and I could feel the knot in my throat, threatening to unravel in front of half the student body. My tears were making me almost blind.

And the blonde girl was just kissing and kissing. And Ezra was too.

I watched as Ezra put his arms around her skinny frame and the kiss turning passionate.

Choking on sobs, I ran to my car and didn't dare look back.

***

A/N: Song is Sum41's Some Say.
Also the beautiful banner was made by @Heart_Stopper16