Always There

FOUR:

It was the hottest and most messy thing I have ever lived through. At first it was feather light and soft but then it all changed to much more.

All those years of pent up emotions just suddenly burst to the top and all I could feel was his soft lips caressing mine and the taste of the mint gum he always chewed overwhelmed my mouth as he kissed me senseless. His hands caressed my face and they wound up in my hair, running through it over and over again.

I couldn't help my hands slithering onto his shoulders. I was a woman possessed for a while. Deepening the kiss, his hands slid down to my waist, pulling me into his body. I couldn't help the moan that escaped from my mouth.

I never once thought me and Ezra would stand here like this, kissing like this. It was sweet bliss.

Ezra smiled against my lips as my hands travelled into his hair and I trailed it to the roots. It was so soft. Like satin.

I could lose myself in it. I could lose myself in his strong arms around my lean body.

I almost certainly would have if he didn't pull away for breath.

"That was..." He whispered and stopped midsentence when I filled it in for him.

"Amazing?"

"More than amazing Annie. It was glorious." He says and takes in a sharp breath when I pulled his head closer for another kiss.

Oh! And if it wasn't as glorious as he said it was!

His arms encircled me, pulling me closer and pressing my whole body against him and for a moment I couldn't breathe.

Not because he was squeezing too hard, but because breathing can be quite hard when a man kisses you so passionately that your lungs even stop working.

In that moment I knew that I loved Ezra. More than we could ever imagine together. My heart filled to the brim with it.

When we pulled away once again, I felt myself fly on a pillow in the sky.

His arms around mine made me had my legs quaking. For so long I wanted this. I've wanted to feel his arms, his lips, and his hair through my fingers for ten excruciating years.

I wondered for a moment if this wasn't a dream. It would be the best dream I've ever had.

"Annie?" He asked me, breathing heavily.

"Yeah Ezra?" I replied.

"Am I dreaming? Is this real?" He asked me, his voice heavy with emotion.

"If you're dreaming then I must be too." I replied and he smiled.

"I've wanted this so long Anna. I just want to stand here forever in the hopes that somehow time will freeze us here." He whispered.

"Ezzie..." I whispered softly and before I could go on his lips covered mine in a passionate kiss.

***

The rest of the weekend did not go as planned. Ezra and I spent the night together cuddled up against the cold rainy weather.

Outside, there was a thunderstorm, but it couldn't have been calmer in our hearts. Most of the night we spent talking about everything important and then nothing important.

It was blissful.

But somewhere in my heart, I still had reservations. I know it's stupid, but I couldn't shake the feeling of my broken heart being in the near future.

After everything I went through to get here, I knew that this wasn't going to be easy. It was going to be a wreck and neither of us will come out in one piece.

But, in that moment his arms around me comforted me greatly.

Yes. Neither of us will come out in one piece but we will always have each other.

***

That Sunday, we packed our things. After a good weekend away from home, I felt more relaxed and me and Ezra were closer than ever.

Quite literally. We were attached to the hip.

I knew now how it felt to be truly free.

I was free from feeling shame for the feelings I shared with him. I was free from the walls I built around myself.

It hit me that I was more than free from that. I was finally free from everything I told myself. Over and over again, I doubted myself. I doubted that any of this could happen.

But, now it did. And I was wrong all those times when I doubted myself. I knew that now.

On the way back home, me and Ezra laughed so much our stomachs hurts.

It was an exhilarating experience, to just be there with him in that moment.

We saw sides of each other we learned to hide that day, and we loved what we saw so much that time seemed to thankfully, slow down.

By the time we were home, I felt a thousand kilograms lighter than I did when I went to the lake.

Joking like the old friends we are. We got to know each other in another light to the way we usually do.

And I loved it.

Ezra was more than I expected him to be. He was miraculous beyond words and my heart could agree wholeheartedly.

***

"Hey mom! I'm home!" I shout upstairs when I get home.

I suddenly heard footsteps banging down the stairs and I turned around to see my mother standing in the door way.

My mother, Alicia, was a unique type of woman. She had black hair that was straight as a blade of grass, and that shone like a horse's mane. Her skinny body indicated that she never ate (and she didn't). And in her intense green eyes you could see her thoughts were never with you. She was always off somewhere in her own world and she didn't care much about me and my flamboyantyet beautiful sister, Erica.

So you can imagine my immense confusion when she broke out in "Where were you? I was going crazy not knowing where you are!"

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