[edited]
"Emmy!" I hear Evan call my name from downstairs.
"What?" I ask, following his voice to the front hall.
"What do you want, Ev-" I stopped mid-sentence. Standing in the doorway was Grayson.
"Evan, what's going on?" I say slowly, hesitating to speak after everything that had happened yesterday.
"I think you two have some things to talk about," he leaves the room.
I want to stop him, throttle him, and then run out of the room myself. I wasn't ready for this, but the least I owed Grayson was an explanation.
"Uh, hey," he smiled a little.
I smiled broadly. As much as I didn't want to see him at the moment, he managed to make my day better nonetheless.
"So, do you wanna go upstairs?" I ask him nervously.
"Sure."
He follows me to my room, and it felt weird even though he'd been here more times than I could literally count. He wasn't a stranger, but I still had an uneasy feeling in my stomach. We sit down on the couch, facing each other.
"Are you okay, Emmy?"
I sigh, "Grayson, I have something really important to tell you. But I'm gonna need you to let me finish 'til the end."
He nods, "Yeah, go ahead."
I take a deep breath in before starting, "Grayson, when I was still unconscious at the hospital, the doctor told my parents something."
I see him tense up in nervousness, and I really couldn't blame him. He stares at me with his jawline tight and his eyes focused ahead, but not directly on me. I could've burst out laughing. Oh, if only he knew.
"He said, he said...," I trail off, catching my breath.
"Emerson, what did he say?"
I pant, my breathing uneven. I can feel my eyes brimming with salty tears, which I attempt to blink away.
"Emmy, please. Tell me."
"He said that I have Stage 3 Pancreatic cancer. He said that there isn't a definite cure."
"He said I'm going to die in two months," I finish with a sob. I was surprised that I wasn't completely breaking down. I was talking about my own death, after all.
He blinked, not speaking. The silence and lack of eye contact scared me. He continued to be fascinated with my carpet.
"Grayson?" I say quietly, "Please say something," I beg.
He looked up at me, but I couldn't see any feeling on his face.
He grinned, "You're lying, Emmy. That's not a funny joke. You almost had me there," he laughs lightly.
I laugh sadly, "Gray, it's not a joke, I swear. I'm telling you the truth."
He seemed to realize I was serious in that moment. I couldn't describe the emotions I saw when I looked at him.
Sadness.
Fear.
Anger.
Confusion.
"Y-you're not jok-king?" He stutters.
I shook my head.
"Two-o m-months?"
I nod my head, wiping my tears that were freely running down my face at this point.
"Who knows about this?"
"Just my family. No one else," I assure him. He didn't want the same thing as last time to happen. He was afraid I was keeping another secret from only him.
"Even Max and Ethan?"
"No one knows except my parents and Elliot and Evan. Evan's the one who called you over and encouraged me to tell you."
"So you weren't planning on ever telling me?" He accuses.
"No, Gray-"
"Really? Because it sounds like if yesterday hadn't happened, I wouldn't ever have been informed," he shouts.
I don't have the guts to even speak. But that seems to be fine, as Grayson continues to rant, "And then in two months, Elliot and Evan would come and tell me, 'Oh yeah, Grayson. Emerson had cancer and never mentioned it to you. But oh yeah, she's dead'."
"Gray, I really am sorry. You don't know how it feels to be told your death date," I protest.
"No, I don't. But I know how it feels to lose someone you love, and it's about to happen again," his voice shakes.
I hadn't thought of it that way. Stupid, selfish me. I had been so obsessed with the thought of me dying, I hadn't even stopped to think how it might affect anyone else.
My mum and dad. Elliot and Evan. Grayson. Ethan and Max. So many people who cared about me, and I hadn't even spared them a single thought.
"I don't want you to go, Emmy. Like I was saying yesterday, I want to be with you forever. There's so many things I wanna do with you, still," he said.
"Me too, Grayson. I'm dying at seventeen years old for fuck's sake! Do you know how many things I won't be able to do in my life?! Hell, I haven't even graduated high school!" I complain, defending myself.
He pauses, and I go on, "I wanted to go to college, to graduate and get a job. Do what I chose to. Get married when the time came. And now that's never gonna happen," I whisper more to myself than anyone else.
~ ~ ~ ~
secret is out!
SONG OF THE CHAPTER: One Day (Vandaag)
ARTIST: Bakermat
YOU ARE READING
shine - grayson dolan
Fanfiction"She would never admit how frightened she was, never tell me the scary thoughts that filled her head, the feelings she suffered through all alone. She held a crumbling world on her shoulders and made it look like a pair of beautiful wings." ~~~...
