Torn up || the Outsiders fanfiction

Please don't go

After a couple hours spent well with Pony you thought you'd better set off to find Johnny.

"Ok Pony, I gotta go."

You lean in and place a quick, yet loving kiss on his lips and head out the door. You decide to go to the lot. You were just walkin' minding yer own business when a blue mustang drives by you. You roll your eyes and think they better not stop. They didn't stop but they threw an empty beer bottle at you which caused it to shatter and leave small cuts all along your body. You winced in pain as you continued to walk but you tried to remember to look tuff so you shook it off.

You get to the lot and look around. Johnny wasn't there. So you head to his house. When you get to his house, you don't dare to knock, his folks are some scary. So you walk around and peek through windows, not there either. If he wasn't with the gang, his folks. And he wasn't at the lot, where could he be?

After hours of searchin' for Johnny you still couldn't find him. You even called the gang to help and y'all haven't even found a trace of Johnny. This was gettin' real bad. Then you remembered one time you Johnny and Ponyboy went to the lake and sat on the cliff and watched the sunset. It was getting dark, so you ran.

You got to the top of the cliff and took a minute to catch your breath and look up. Johnny. But he wasn't sitting and watching... he was standing right on the edge of the cliff.

"Johnny! What're you doin'!!"

You yell at him. He doesn't answer. You run over to him and grab his arm and pull him away from the edge. You only get a few feet before he shakes you off.

"What! What do y'all want from me!"

He yells in your face.

"Johnny, I wanna know what the hell you're doin' standin' on the edge of a cliff!"

You yell back.

"What else would anyone do standin' on the edge of a cliff!?"

He asks with tears in his eyes.

"I'm gonna kill myself!"

He screams.

"No!"

You shriek at him.

"Johnny Cade, you are not dying. Not today! You're only sixteen years old. You have so much to live for! Please don't go!!"

All you feel are the hot tears soaking your face.

"Really?"

He questions.

"I have to worry about even goin' near my house because my folks will run out and beat me because I left a sock on my floor. I have to freeze, sleepin' outside in the lot each night because I can't go home and I don't wanna be a burden to the Curtis'. I have to wake up each day knowing I'm unloved, unwanted! I have to see the sight of the love of my life and my best friend makin' out in front of me and bein' oh so joyful, each second of each day. I go to sleep each night prayin' I won't wake up because bein' alive is just one of the worst pains I've ever felt in my entire life! My whole body aches of bruises and cuts. My head pounds of thoughts about how I'm makin' IT each and every day. But I'm done."

Your face goes blank. Johnny takes a step towards the cliff edge.

"Johnny! You are wanted and loved by us, the gang. We couldn't live without ya Johnny! It just wouldn't be the same!"

You say sobbing.

"Well you're gonna have to find a way."

Johnny says calmly.

"I love you (y/n)"

He smiles slightly. He takes a step back.

"Good bye."

You run to catch him and you just touch his finger tips, but he falls back.

He's gone. You drop to your knees.

"No!"

You shriek at the top of your lungs. You're crying so hard you can't even manage to breathe. Pony and the gang run up behind you on the hill. They heard your shriek.

"(Y/n) what happened?"

Darry says loudly.

You just continue to sob.

"Where's Johnny?"

Two-bit asks. Pony's face is blank.

"He's gone."

Pony says quietly.

"Ponyboy what do you mean he's gone?"

Darry yells.

"He told me a couple weeks ago he thought he was gonna kill himself. I talked him out of it... I guess it wasn't enough."

His face still blank. Tears breakout through the whole gang.

Johnny Cade was gone.