The Last Othellan

Before The Storm

In the dead of night, I woke, shaking. The room was dark, but it had been scarce 5 minutes since I had finally dropped off to sleep. None of us had fallen asleep quickly. Aragorn was in all our thoughts, and I couldn't stop thinking of what might have been. The what-ifs hurt the most when someone you love dies.

The deep breathing of Legolas and the snuffling snores of Gimli filled the room. They had clearly not been woken by me, and for that I was grateful. I did not want to talk about what I had just seen, not even to Legolas.

When I had slumbered, I heard screaming. The most terrible screaming I could have heard. I couldn't tell whether it was Merry, Pippin, or both, but it had been made clear what was being done to them. Orcish growls had been added to the din, and I had caught a flash of flame red hair, a sadistic smile, before I woke.

There was no doubt this time that Saerwen had planted the dream. However, what I didn't know was how true it was. I hoped against hope that it was a terrible fiction. Gandalf had said Merry and Pippin were safe, but what if they had run into more trouble?

I tried to lie down again, needing desperately to sleep before whatever lay ahead. Whenever I closed my eyes, I heard them.

I couldn't, wouldn't, sleep. I could not hear those screams again.

***

"You look exhausted"

I didn't need Legolas' words the next morning at breakfast. I had got up after a while, wondering the walls until everyone woke. It was more restful than another nightmare would have been, in any case. More restful than thinking about Aragorn.

"I told you" I muttered "I just got up and wondered around before you and Gimli were awake."

"This is the second day you have woken up looking like you have seen a ghost. Do you think I will believe that story?"

I sighed and nibbled at my bread, which was suddenly unappetising. I didn't want to burden Legolas with my dreams, but he was impossible to lie to. I had always been a bad liar, but he just knew when I was not myself.

"It's just nightmares" I said firmly. Legolas raised his eyebrows.

"Nightmares that are haunting you for days"

"You're not going to let me get away with this are you?" I half smiled.

"No" Legolas stated. "Perhaps you should start with yesterday's"

"I dreamed about my mother" I said resignedly "I told you that she had murdered someone for me, I think?" He nodded and I continued "I saw it, in my nightmare. She was so cold when she did it, completely unfeeling. My mother murdered an innocent for me"

Legolas squeezed my hand under the table. "And last night's?"

"It was- I dreamed about Merry and Pippin. Saerwen definitely had a hand in that one. They were screaming, tortured. I got up after that"

"I wish I could help you" Legolas muttered "But I would not know how. My only words of comfort would be that Gandalf assured us Merry and Pippin were safe."

I sighed and nodded "I expect they're fine. Safer than we are, I hope"

Legolas brushed back my hair from my face, cupping my cheek in his long fingers, and pressed his lips to my forehead.

"I'm sure they're alright".

***

The majority of the day passed slowly. Seeking solitude again, I had left Legolas, and was sitting on a quiet section of the wall, writing. I had almost finished now, and I felt much better for it. The threads of my past were no longer contained only in my memory, but on page as well. Perhaps it was better this way, as Galadriel had predicted.