The Last Othellan

The Last Debate

It was some time before I became aware of the world around me again. There was a soft knock on the door. I hadn't moved an inch. My head and heart were both pounding, and I was gripping my knees tightly to my chest, as if I could curl up and protect myself from the harsh, swooping, sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

The room was dimly lit, and the fire was burning low. I must have been there for some hours. There was another soft knock on the door and I ignored it. A minute or so later, the door opened quietly, closed again, and light steps padded across the wooden floor.

The footsteps approached slowly, almost cautiously, and still I did not look up. I could tell he was about to kneel down beside me but, when I finally raised my head a little to look up at him, the mess of brown paper and the fragment inside it had caught his eye.

He picked up the fragment and held it at eye level. The little piece was thin, blackened at the edges and cracked down the middle. It should have been white, but it was grey with ash from the fire that had destroyed the elf it belonged to.

"Bone" Legolas muttered. He put it down carefully then frowned, pushing aside the brown paper and pulling out a small piece of parchment which I hadn't noticed before. It twitched in his hand as he winced, then he handed it to me. I hesitated before I took it, unwilling to touch the words that had been written in black speech, the foul language of Mordor.

"This is what happens when people defy My Lord Sauron" I translated quietly, my voice small and my mouth dry. I crushed the note in my fist and threw it from me, staring blankly ahead.

Legolas sat down carefully and slightly behind me, as if he was afraid of making any sudden movements. Tentatively, he put a hand lightly on my shoulder. I let him stay there for a while, before speaking again.

"She must have looked through the ashes of the fires to find that, after my- when they burned my friends, after I-". I swallowed and stopped speaking, looking at the ground. Legolas squeezed my shoulder slightly, then moved a little closer. I shuffled up to him and lent my back against his chest. His arms snaked around my stomach and he reached forward, pressing a kiss to my cheek. His legs spread out either side of mine. I was circled in him, safe, and yet...

"I really am sorry about your friends" he whispered, pulling me closer.

"It was my fault" I said harshly. "If I hadn't been a fool, they'd still be alive".

Legolas took my left hand in his, lifting it so he could see the 'T' branded into it. He ran his thumb gently along it a few times then let our hands fall into my lap, where they remained entangled. He nuzzled comfortingly against my neck and spoke softly.

"And if you had not sparked a revolution in Othella, your people would have joined Sauron. If you had not killed your father, who else would have been bold enough to end it? Good people died that day, but if it had not been done, you and I would certainly not be fighting on the same side, and this war would be impossible to win if Othella was here to fight with Mordor."

I relaxed a little against Legolas as he spoke. I had never even thought about what would have happened if I had not killed my father. But, I still had to live with the consequences, whether the outcome was good or bad, and I had still got my friends killed.

"You have no idea, do you, how much light is inside you" Legolas barely muttered. I let out a breath and squeezed his hand. We stayed still, in silence, for a long while. Very slowly, I felt the tenseness in my shoulders and the tightness in my chest fall away. Legolas must have felt it too. He trailed kisses along my jaw, eventually pressing his lips to my cheek.