The Last Othellan

After the Funeral

It was early morning before I heard footsteps again on the porch of the Golden Hall. I hadn't gone back to the room I was sharing with the fellowship, and hadn't slept a wink outside. My feet were swung over the edge and my head rested on the cool stone of the hall. I didn't lift it as someone stood above me.

"Legolas told me you were out here" said a familiar voice. I lifted my head with effort and looked up to see Aragorn, a bowl of water, a cloth and a fresh bandage in his hand. I shuffled over so he could sit on my left.

With a slight moment of hesitation, Aragorn started to unravel the bandage on my arm. I clenched my right fist, willing myself not to move my left arm as I felt cool air hit it.

I glanced down involuntarily as he cleaned my arm in silence. The word had started to scar, but traitor was all the more visible, the red scratches shining in contrast to my pale skin.

I noted that Legolas had not come with Aragorn, and pursed my lips sadly, trying not to think of what I had said and done the previous night, but guilt still seared my insides like a furnace.

I looked up and Aragorn was peering closely into my face. As soon as his eyes met mine however, he busied himself with replacing the bandage on my arm. Once the task was finished, he did not stand, but readjusted his position so his legs too were dangling over the edge.

"You let Legolas stay the night Saerwen tortured you" Stated Aragorn, clearly following his own train of thought. I didn't answer, knowing perfectly well where this conversation was going. "The elf I met on the borders of Bree would never have done that"

"I've changed" I said shortly.

"What do you feel for him?" He asked abruptly. I sighed. Clearly, he wasn't going away any time soon.

"I care for him" I admitted, my cheeks turning slightly red at sharing this personal information, information that I had kept even from myself, perhaps for months. "Did he tell you what happened?" I asked haltingly, shame burning my cheeks even brighter.

"No." Answered Aragorn, "Only he felt that you did not want to see him this morning".

I took a deep breath and, forcing back emotion from my voice, I told Aragorn exactly what I had said and done the previous night.

"I am afraid Aragorn" I finished "But I cannot deny that I want exactly what he wants. In trying not to cause him pain, I have hurt him even more."

Aragorn stayed silent for a while, and I began to think he was rightfully angry with me for all I had said and done. Eventually, though, he spoke up carefully.

"Perhaps it is time to set aside fear and uncertainty. All is uncertain now, and no one knows where their path will lead until they come to its end. I perceive that it would hurt both of you more if you did not do what your heart tells you to."

I sighed and put my head in my hands. "You're right, of course you're right. Now, though, Legolas will never trust another word I say. He must think I'm awful for refusing him so sharply. After everything he has done for me, I've treated him like dirt"

"I would not believe that" said Aragorn "I think it more likely that Legolas thinks he has scared you, and is feeling as if he should never have raised the matter."

"But", I began, wondering how to phrase my statement. "Why me?" I said eventually "I'm just a woman who ran away. I'm not important"

"Don't talk like that", Aragorn snapped "You are important to Legolas, to all the fellowship. Whatever you have done in the past does not matter to us. All that matters is what you have done in these past months we have known you, and the cause you fight for alongside your friends."