The Last Othellan

Pippin's Mistake

"Hello Aúthiel"

The voice was hideously familiar, and as I opened my eyes I swallowed, trying not to show the tremendous fear in my heart. Saerwen, with her jet black eyes and flaming red hair, looked the same as she had the night of my torture. The dagger she had used on me hung on her belt, without a sheath.

"I know what you have done since last I saw you. Proud of the Helm's Deep victory? Proud of how you faced Saruman? Far worse is coming, she-wolf! You should be afraid" She hissed.

"Whatever comes, I will meet it" I said back, my voice steadily developing into a growl. "The thing I have come to realise is that I am not like the Othellans used to be. Some said the Othellans don't have hearts. I'd rather have one, and be afraid, than not have one, and be like you"

Saerwen ripped my arm upwards towards her and gripped my left wrist. Her fingers dug into the scars and I cried out, but she wouldn't stop. I felt her nails break my skin and gasped as blood ran down my wrist. It was never ending, unbearable...

***

There was a hand clamped around my mouth as I woke shaking in the darkness. As I opened my eyes, the hand let go, and I felt someone pushing me into a sitting position. I turned to see Aragorn, looking white and shocked.

"I'm sorry" he muttered "I didn't think you would want anyone to wake up". I nodded mutely, my cheeks going red.

"No, I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to deal with this, none of you should". I pushed my knees up and rested my chin on them, sighing. Aragorn shook his head slightly, his hand resting on my shoulder.

"You are the one who shouldn't have to deal with it. I will always be glad to help you". I thanked him quietly, and we stayed in silence for a while. I was grateful for the company, and I was glad he didn't move away.

Noticing for the first time that my bandage had been ripped off, I looked down at my arm. The nightmare had been real. Blood ran in a slow trickle from where Saerwen's nails had dug into me, and my hands began to shake all over again. Aragorn picked up the bandage, but I shook my head silently at him. The bleeding would stop soon enough, as the marks weren't deep. Instead, Aragorn handed me a soft cloth, which I pressed against my wrist.

"How long was I asleep?" I asked eventually. It felt like barely any time at all. I was still as exhausted as I had been when I had entered the room.

"It's been about an hour since Legolas left you here" answered Aragorn. I sighed. I needed sleep more than anything, but how could I sleep now? My arm was throbbing painfully, and I knew bruises would form soon enough.

I glanced down at Legolas' bedroll to find it empty. I was certain he would find the right way to calm me, but I would never expect anything. I trusted Legolas more than anyone, but it wasn't fair to rely on him all the time. The only person I could fully rely on for the long years of my life was myself, and I wasn't even sure I could do that anymore.

Aragorn seemed to guess what I was thinking. "Legolas is outside. You should speak to him."

I shook my head "I don't want to burden him again". I had relied far too much on his kindness. This was not something either Legolas or I could change.

"He will want to know", Aragorn insisted. I sighed. Didn't he understand? I didn't want to worry him again.

"Why?" I asked. Aragorn rolled his eyes.

"If he was in trouble, or upset, or hurt, would you want him to be honest with you?"

I smoothed down the dark green material of my dress distractedly. "Of course" I muttered.