Piece of my heart

Chapter 28

يتم حبها الحب (her love is made from love)
❤️❤️❤️
ويتكون حبه من الحب (and his love is made from love)

SOFIA
It was evening and we were still at home. I was sitting in the living room and then I saw him. He was wearing a white thobe and his egal and ghutrah and he looked so handsome. One you could die for... Every time I thought or I saw him my heart would break into shatters but I had to be strong. Strong for myself, strong for my mom. Strong for my love.

Anyways I was going to start work tomorrow, I had been away too long.

He came there and called me and said, "Sofia... hayaty (my life) I am going and I know you trust me and I will see you tomorrow inshallah. I am sorry for hurting you."

All I was thinking in my mind was how loyal men could be. And he kissed my forehead.

I had accepted my unlucky destiny and accepted our love too. Before he left me I looked at him and I pulled him. Pulled him closer to me so he could smell my scent, he could feel my love and sense my pain. And he hugged me tighter than I thought and more comforting than anything in this world and I couldn't help it but cry.

I felt his pain. His love for me. It all was the opposite of what I wanted because my feelings were the one so obvious to him. You could never help the heart stop itself and you could never stop the feelings from feeling like waves of the sea reaching the shore. I felt like it was the most romantic moment ever in my life - and I wanted time to stop there and this moment to last forever.

My life became a drama but I became alive, I left his arms and turned away. I told him, "Albi (my heart) please be fair, I don't want you to get sins... love her like you love me and respect her like you respect me..."

My heart was aching when I was saying this. Only I knew the breakdown I was experiencing inside me - I felt like pieces of glass were tearing tissues - My heart tissues.

He then left and he left and I realized he left. I took deep, restless breaths and went to pray Isha prayer. After my prayers I prayed to my Lord for patience and to be on the straight path.

There is no woman who would want or even think of sharing her husband, no woman who wouldn't feel jealous in fact if the Prophet's wives were jealous, who are we not to feel jealous ? But they all lived and loved their husband and I am expected of the same.

I just hoped I never get to meet this woman. Because I think I would surely kill her with my questions and opinions and under control of feelings.

I thought of going to the garden for a stroll. We had a small backyard in our house. I wore my abaya and scarf and went outside. The garden was the most beautiful thing in the world. It had these tiny lights hung in one side that Ammar had put for me. Thinking about our love I was touching them and reviving, reliving all the memories we had together.

As I reached outside while walking, I found my two sister in laws. The twins, Safaa and Marwa. I told them, "Assalam alaikum, darlings. Hi. How are you two and how I missed you. How have you been ? And how is school?"

And I was walking towards them to hug them. I saw they were sad and almost crying. They hugged me so tightly I could feel the tension they were in. I asked them again, "Darlings, why are you crying? Did anything happen? Tell me I won't spare anyone who made you cry and why are you here?"

They looked at me and calmed down. We went and sat on a table in the garden. They now said, " we love you so much. And we are all there for you... don't worry about anything..."

I started getting tensed and I said, " yes habibtis, I know all that. Just tell me what happened.."

They said, "we were at your home with your sister Sara and we were studying together. And somebody came and was talking to your mom. They said about Ammar's wedding and your mom... your mom got a heart attack... we called the ambulance and she was taken to Emirates hospital. And then we came here to call you. We haven't told our brother because there is a wedding at home..."

I was just shocked and hurt. I was crying. And at first I was silent. I didn't know what to say. Then I told them to hurry up and we left to go to the hospital. My brother and sister were there too. They hugged me as soon as they saw me and I told them to stop crying, I had come.

They were so young and had no one. I felt so disappointed for not being with them. There was a specialist heart doctor there and he said my mom was in a critical condition and hence they needed to operate her because the disease was already there and now her arteries had blocked.

I was so worried, I didn't know what to do. I told the twins not to call anyone, but Ammar would know because he was also a doctor and he had to be there for the surgery - the hospital officials would surely call him.
I was so worried. I needed my husband. I needed support. I felt so disheartened.

I didn't want to be the reason for breaking this marriage. Maybe he has even gotten married. But at that time that was the least thing that came to my mind.
All I had were thoughts of my mom. I didn't care at that time. We saw Ammar coming after a short while and he saw me - I was crying.

His eyes assured me the safety of my mom. And he hurried the surgery and they all doctors went in the OT with my mom and I was just praying for her safety.

The twins then said, they were going home to see and tell my mother in law because I was also her daughter and she had a right to know. And they left the hospital.
My brother was sleeping on my lap from crying and my sister next to me sobbing until she slept too. I called the driver and told him to keep my babies in the car because he was just outside the hospital parking. I trusted him.

It took 7 hours and I was waiting and waiting outside. I was so stressed. I didn't know what to do. I could feel the tears run down my cheeks and pain everywhere in my body. I hadn't slept the whole night. And the thoughts of my wedding day came ~ He had left me too to come for a surgery but after the wedding.

Had he also gotten married to her then came here or not yet. Thoughts were coming in my mind - So many of them but I just saw the red light of the OT and they all disappeared making my moms image flash infront of my eyes and I think I fainted on the bench.

> Everything was a blur in my life <