Piece of my heart

Chapter 26

(Don't try to study me) لا تحاول أن تدرس لي
❤️❤️❤️
(you won't graduate) انت لن تخرج

AMMAR
We were back to Dubai and I was proud of my decision to marry Sofia. She was a girl as such. I had fallen in love with her and I just awaited the moment, the moment I would make her mine forever and me hers...

I dropped her at her house after she met my family and she decided to spend the day there. I had some work at the hospital and then I would come back but when I reached, my father called me as it was an emergency.

I reached home and my father was at the study room. He told me to come and welcomed me and told me to sit down.
He said, "assalam alaikum my dear son. How are you? How is work going? How is my daughter. Are you looking after her. Ammar, I am feeling guilty. I am so old now and I may die soon..."

His words were scaring me. My father never talked like this unless it was something so important. He seemed sad and truly guilty and he was about to cry and his old, worn-out, tired and longing face made my heart weaken.

I asked him, "waalaikum Salam ya abi (dad). I a, fine alhamdulillah (thank God) and everything else is fine. You tell me, why are you guilty. Is there anything that happened? Tell me I will solve it. Inshaallah. Come on talk dad."

He continued, "my son, I need you to pay off this debt for me. Years ago I made a promise to someone... your uncle... he gave me money to educate you and I promised I would marry his daughter to you..."

Ya Allah. I was in shock with his words. Was my dad fine ? Did he understand what he just said. Did he know I was married ? I wanted to ask him all these questions but I just remained silent.

He said again,"Ibni (my son) I know this is difficult to understand. I know you are a married man and a happy one indeed but this is a promise which even if I do kaffarah (expiation) - (to repent for breaking a promise) my heart won't be at peace. It is halal to have more that one wife son and I trust you will maintain the equality. I love my daughter Sofia but I am obligated and I trust she will understand. I have a weak heart son... please don't hurt it more."

His words made my eyes see Sofia and only Sofia but my mind could see my father, his promise and my heart could see Sofia's broken heart but my soul couldn't see a hurt parent.

I told him, "Ya Abi (father) ok. I will marry her tomorrow itself. Take care of yourself and don't tell Sofia anything about this. Please..." and I left the room.

I had to go pick Sofia and I didn't want to get married secretly hence I wanted her to know this, that too from me and not from someone else.
After Isha prayer in the mosque I went to her house and when I saw her my heart was beating faster than it ever had. She loved me so much, it was depicted in her eyes, in her lips, in her smile, on her face, in her heart, in her red cheeks and in her talks.
And I loved her too but I knew I had to hurt her. I had to make her understand the black side of our upcoming situation.

I was at her house for sometime then we left. I was frustrated and worried and scared of the reaction. I knew this wasn't a news to tell. That too about a second wife. I knew I was going to hurt her but I had to make her feel this is part of life.

We entered the car and I tried to ignore her so she could not have so many hopes in me. She started talking so much and her words soothed my ears and I wanted to answer her and fall in love with her words but I just didn't want to give the perfect husband hopes and I thought of stopping the car to break the 'big heart-breaking news' but the break was not at appropriate speed hence she hurt herself.

And I felt the pain, my heart was now more less confident, more weak to tell her. I couldn't bear her push my hand away when I tried help her bruise and I told her my feelings. I told her I loved her, I was carried away and I saw her eyes enlighten and accept the news and feel me back. I never imagined the moment would be like this. I had lost myself in her eyes, her scent and her again.
She confessed too, she loved me too... I felt it was the beginning of our perfect lives but my mind came to its senses revealing to my heart it was the end.

After the moment she was calm enough. And my soul was penetrating in her and stopping my mouth from saying the truth but I could control it and I told her. I don't know and I know I can never feel or realize what she felt. All I saw was a broken heart, a broken dream and wet eyes and tears cheeks and a hurt person. We didn't talk after that and when we reached home she left inside the room and locked herself.

I knew she didn't want to say anything and she needed sometime alone but I couldn't take the risk of her being not safe alone. I knew she was a true Muslim and wouldn't do anything of that sort but I couldn't bear her so hurt. I stood outside knocking and telling her to open the door but she didn't budge.
And my heart begged her to return... to return to it : to return to me : to return to our love.