The Haunted Memories (Forgotten Series, #4)

Memory V

There wasn't much I could tell as the days went passed. I was stuck in a body that was dying, they had to make it want to live again. Needles and needles and more needles to give my body what it needed to survive, to live. I wanted to die. I didn't want to endure what I knew was coming. I was weak in that. I didn't want to further my suffering. I wanted it to end.

I was still in the dark, still somewhere hidden but I could hear her calling for me, calling for me over the sounds around me. She was there, right out of my reach but I was not able to get to her. My body was too weak, too damaged to find her. I wished too. I wanted her so badly.

My world was a haze as I slipped in and out of consciousness, only coming slightly to when she would call for me, beg me to be under her light and her gaze. I ached for her. My feelings were coming back, such crushing feelings that tore on my already fraying mind. It was easier when I was numb. When I didn't have to feel what the world had done to me, what Malak had done.

I still had no tears to cry. No way to express what I needed to those around me. Even if I did, I was usually alone. The feeling of being utterly alone with the one you wanted most just out of reach was nearly as maddening as the darkness had been.

There were a few times when the world seemed a bit brighter as a large hand would pick up my own and a soft voice would speak to me in hushed tones about the day or about things I didn't understand. His voice soothing as if he simply believed I needed someone there. I truly and deeply did. I loved him for it.

Arlo

Sweet Arlo.

He was a good male born to a bad family.

Such a bad family.

Malak was breaking me, tearing me in two. My body needed him but my mind hated him. I hated him so much but the bond didn't let my body feel it. Emotions clashed and smothered me and I was left adrift in a world where I was in chaos. A world where nothing made sense to me.

Broken pieces of who I had been and who I was were grating against each other and I was lost in the middle. Feeling each grinding push and each painful tear. I was stuck, so stuck, between two impossibles. One where I hated my mate and the other where I loved him. I couldn't do either, stuck in place, torn in two.

A haze of chaos swirled in my brain as my world came back to me, a soft soothing voice cajoling me to open my eyes. I couldn't, not even for Arlo. I just wanted to give up, to no longer feel the tearing my soul was doing. There was no need for me to feel the broken, shattered remains of who I was clashing together inside of me. I had been punished enough. I knew reality was so much worse than giving up.

Strong and warm arms picked me up and I felt like I was floating. The moon called to me, her voice getting brighter and louder. The world grew calm for a brief moment, a heart stopping moment before her gaze landed on my skin. I couldn't help the gasping inhale I took that bowed my back in the arms that carried me. It was as if her eyes had struck me with sheer strength, sending it dancing along my skin and sinking deep into my bones. The taste of her air lingered on my tongue as I greedily drew in more and more of her.

She was life to me and my body hummed with her power, her energy. The chaos stilled, everything grew quiet as I opened my heavy eyes to look at her brilliance. That symbol of her hung so high in the sky, bright and beautiful in its radiance. She had breathed life back into a body that wanted so much to die. Her voice whispered at me that there was so much more for me. How I was strong as long as I could stay under her gaze.

There was an order to her world and I had my place in it. I could fight to give up, to save myself the trouble of enduring what would come my way or I could bow to the force of it, set my feet in the earth and survive it until the moon welcomed me into her arms.