The Haunted Memories (Forgotten Series, #4)

Chapter 33

Three days later

I paced in my office. I was utterly and totally frazzled and confused. There was nothing about what I was feeling and dealing with that was okay in my mind. I felt like I was going crazy. There was a something in me that heated the blood in my veins and scratched at the inside of my skin. It was almost enough to drive me crazy. It pushed and pulled me, no matter where I went it continually tugged me towards that male.

I found myself in front of the window, peering out onto the lawn where Arlo and Ollie were running routines before I let out a groan. This was what I was talking about. That thing inside of me drew me towards Arlo. No matter where I was or what I was doing, if Arlo was on the territory I would find myself looking for him. An undeniable urge to be where he was. I quickly moved away from the window, putting space between me and it.

I needed to gain some semblance of control over myself. It was just hard because if I even senses his presence my wolf would immediately start pushing me towards him and then that thing would start its motions, the slow heating of my blood, the slowly moving force that drew me towards the male regardless of where I was or what I had been doing previously. It was fucking maddening.

I had no idea how to deal with anything I was going through. I hadn't been given any sort of talk about what happened between shifters with a bond or anything. I had always hated that fact, even more so now that I was dealing with it personally. I really wished I would have had some sort of knowledge of things that went on dring a bond. I was aware I had one with Arlo, my denial of it was due to the anger and the fact I had literally felt nothing for him but now that it was more than distracting I couldn't deny it was there.

I paced back and forth, trying to keep myself as far from the window as possible. I don't even know why or how Arlo and Ollie had started running routines but for some stupid reason they had both removed their shirts as they grappled. Well, as Arlo tried to show Ollie the grapples. Ollie was still very much a novice in that department and I appreciated the added help he was getting.

I brought my hand to my mouth, biting my thumb nail as I paced back and forth again and again. I had hoped to have whatever was going on inside my head sorted out by now but that seemed almost impossible. Any time I spent near Arlo seemed to tangle everything up just that much more. Everything he did was amplified to me, his scent, his looks, his actions. I always found myself watching him, even if it was just a glimpse it made me feel content, it settled something inside of me.

I swallowed hard as I rubbed my bare foot across the large area rug, tracing a pattern with my toe. He was a good male, the memories had shown me as much but watching him with Madeline I had seen a side of him that Maggie never had. I saw a father completely and totally smitten with his little girl. I saw him let her paint his nails before he would paint hers. I saw him do her hair or have tea parties with her. He wasn't a small male, he wasn't Ollie's size and he came from a terribly oppressive culture but he would hunch his broad form down so he could fit at the tea table for Madeline's parties. His knees would nearly be at his chin but he never had anything but a smile on his face.

I didn't understand it, didn't understand him. How could someone come from a place that was so cruel and oppressive and be like he was? How could someone push through the things they had learned their entire lives to lift up someone they had been taught was weaker, was wrong, was unworthy of time? I didn't understand it but Arlo had. He had left it behind to give Madeline a life that Maggie would be proud of. He never once told Madeline she couldn't succeed, he continually reminded her that she was a strong female, a good one. He told her again an again that she could be whatever she wished to be.