Heredity vs. Solidarity (S. Snape)

Chapter Thirty

“I want you to be safe. Don’t wander down there again,” Severus stated, holding Selena in a gentle embrace before releasing her, and delicately brushing back a few strands of her stray hair. He pressed his lips to her forehead, and sighed heavily.

“I want to know something, before we part,” Selena whispered, heartbeat now thudding rampantly.

“What is it?”

“What do you want from me?”

“What do you…?”

“I phrased that wrong, forgive me,” she breathed out, hesitating. “What are we, Severus? You kissed me – a few times – but I… I’m sorry,” she finished lamely, cheeks burning red as her gaze dropped to the cold floor.

“I don’t know,” Severus confessed. “I mean, I haven’t really… given it enough thought, to be fair. I just… I have this impulse – every time – to kiss you… and it doesn’t…”

“Go away?” Selena finished, hopefully. Instead of answering, Severus simply nodded, looking both relieved and regretful as he realized that Selena appeared to feel the same way. “It’s okay,” she smiled. “It’s all new to me, too.”

His lips lifted weakly into a smile, and as a farewell parting, he kissed her warmly.

Selena’s mind was still back at the last kiss they shared as she laid back in her bed, staring dismally up at the ceiling, and though she felt exhausted from the night’s events, she simply couldn’t get herself to shut her eyes. Something was going on, but she had been far too afraid to bring it up with Severus knowing that the real answer may in fact simply push her away – and was lingering so close within her reach… almost too close.

“If it’s bothering you so much –“ Selena bolted upright into a sitting position, having not heard Marcy enter, “ – then talk to him about it.”

“Marcy!” Selena gasped, alarmed. “Don’t do that again! I was thinking!”

“Well, all of your thinking is becoming very apparent. I’ve never seen someone stare so long at a ceiling before, without even blinking. I bet you could win a staring contest easy with that stare of yours.”

Selena fell back into her sheets with a groan, pulling the pillow out from under her head to smother her face with it, and attempt to stifle Marcy’s babbling voice. Though being unable to breathe as easily, she felt peace at the sound of the muffled words, and the feel of the cold, pressing darkness of the pillowcase.

“ – Are you even listening to me?” Marcy had yanked the pillow off of Selena’s head, and then threw her arms sternly across her chest, giving Selena a reproachful glare. “I didn’t think so,” she added, upon noticing Selena heave an overdramatic sigh, along with the roll of her eyes.

“I just want some peace,” Selena confessed. “I need to think.”

“Are you okay?” Marcy questioned, lowering her heightened defenses, and replacing her hardened expression with concern. “You look kind of… clammy. How did the dungeons meeting go, anyway?”

Exactly the topic that Selena was trying to avoid. She mulled over her answer quickly, wondering if she should admit the truth, or let it slide for tonight as Marcy waited impatiently.

“It went fine,” Selena eventually decided. “We didn’t really discuss anything, though. He just wanted to make sure I was feeling alright, you know, after the kiss and all…”

Marcy’s lips quirked into a sly smile, her eyes lighting up teasingly.

“You two made out, didn’t you?!” she exclaimed.