I Love You Yet...

Chapter 5

I was driving to the cabin in the woods owned by my grandfather in south California. The place was so quiet, you could hear the quietness. It’s the sound of a tone that settles in your ear. I use to go there to get away from the city and city problems. A quiet place is something everyone needs regardless if they think so or not. To some, it may be their bedroom or bathtub, or any secluded place.

Every time when I can’t stand the old memories, I come to this place. Though, unfortunately, this is the place which has the moment I can never forget in my life.

That day—it was the worst time of my life. Till today I cry and weep about that moment, that decision. I wish I could change everything and go back. Yes, I feel and wish going back even after ten , long years.

I park my car out and walk in woods to the cabin. As I walk down there, I re-live the moments I want to change today. The moments I spent ten years back.

I drifted in the cabin sat on the wooden table the same way I sat ten years back when David said it to me.

“Dan, I need to tell you something very important,” said David in a serious tone, biting his lower lip.

“Yeah say! I know your serious things,” I said giggling.

“Come on Dan; this is serious. You always stopped me from talking about us but not today. Today I need to say this; it’s a serious thing now,” he said cupping my face in his hands.

“Hhhmm…” I sighed not looking into his eyes.

I knew what he was about to speak. Something I did not want to hear. Something I had been afraid of. Something I always ran away from.

“Dan we have been continuing this relation since the last eight years and now it’s time we need to take a decision,” he said.

“What decision? I have told you I am never going to leave you and I don’t want to hear this stuff please,” I said pushing him away and about to cry.

“Dan you can’t be with me. Look try to understand, even I don’t want to go away from you but…” he said, saddened.

“Why? Why do you do this David? You know I can’t live without you still…”I cried harder, digging my face into his chest.

“Because…”he broke and held me even tighter.

“Because you are my cousin…” I said it in almost a whisper.

“Yes Dan and that is the fact of life which we can never deny…” He moved away to the door side.

“Dan I want something from you?” he asked.

“Yeah, anything,” I replied still crying.

“Dan, marry George Anderson. He is a nice person and you’ll be happy with him,” he said firmly.

“What? How can you even ask for that you know I can only be happy with you still you say this…”I said it loud feeling so insulted.

“Dan you can’t be with me and this is the last thing I need from you. I hope you can at least do this for me. If you’ve ever loved me.”

“David, I love you,” I said, tears falling down my face.

“You’ll forget me as time passes and you’ll move on in life. I won’t show you my face again and you’ll be happy with George,” he said and moved out of the cabin leaving a piece of paper.

I took the paper and opened the folds,

“Don’t ever give up on what’s in your heart

Don’t ever let go of what it is you believe in

Don’t ever say the road is too tough

And that it’s better to quit.

Don’t ever think that you don’t matter

Because you’re important to me

Don’t ever let anyone tell you

That you can’t follow your dreams

Don’t ever think that the world

Doesn’t need someone like you

You’ve touched my heart

And my life just by being who you are

And the things you do.

There’s a magic in you that no other could possess.

A quality, warmth, a sparkle

That will carry you through life’s tests

There’s a magic in you

That makes you special to me.”

That was the last time I met him, last time I saw his face, last time I heard him.

As I broke from the flashback of that worst moment, I thought to myself.

“I haven’t forgotten you. I haven’t moved on in life. I still remember the moment you left. I still can hear your last words to. David I am not happy. I tried moving on and staying happy but…I am not. It’s been ten, long years and that much was enough to forget you but I couldn’t. You were wrong and were so damn wrong. You insulted my love and went away from me, left me alone and look I am still at the same place. I married George Anderson—the last thing you asked for and I married him because I love you and you know what I love you yet…”