The Smell of Lilies

Chapter 9

Brandon kept her close and under his arm the short way back to the truck. He bought her hot coffee and gave her his hoody and scarf.

"But you'll freeze," she objected. He shook his head and convinced her that he would be okay.

When they got to the truck a layer of snow had covered it. They got in and he quickly turned on the heater and gave her the blankets to wrap up in. 

"Thank you," she said softly. "For coming to get me." Her voice was still a little shaky. Her hands shook, from the cold and from being scared. She could hear her heart beat in her ears. 

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I think so."

He drove home carefully. He didn't want anything else unexpected to happen. Kel had had enough chaos for one day. 

Almost and hour and a half later, they were back at the apartment. Kel thought about her boxes of clean clothes in the back seat, but not for long because Brandon was soon there with his arm around her. The clothes slipped her mind instantly. 

She had never thought that she would return to the apartment. She didn't think she would ever see his black couch or granite kitchen again. She didn't think she would ever see Brandon again, frankly. But for the second time in just over twenty-four hours he had saved her and taken her in. 

"Here, I'll make you some tea and get you something clean and dry to sleep in," he said as he started moving around the room.

"Do you mind if I take a shower?" Kel asked shyly.

"Yah, of course. Here." He went and brought her one of his long sleeved shirts and some sweats. "I'll get things set up for you."

"Thank you, Brandon," she said quietly and kissed him on the cheek before she went down the hall way and into the bathroom. 

He stood there staring at where she had stood before. The place where her lips met his cheek burned; the corner of his mouth started to turn upward. 

He tried to get everything ready before she got out of the shower. He got the water on the stove to boil and made sure the sheets were clean. And then he remembered that he pretty much cleaned everything a mere six hours ago. 

She emerged from the shower in his clothes, her long wet hair slicked to the side. He tried not to notice the contours of her bare chest under his thin long sleeve shirt. The spot on his cheek still burned.

They sat down on the couch together; Brandon handed her the tea. 

Kel took a sip and shuddered. She could smell his after shave on his shirt, the same scent she had smelled when he held her. 

"The tea is good," she said, trying to break the silence.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Brandon asked her. Kel knew he wasn't talking about the tea.

But all of the sudden she was shaking, not just her voice. Her chest felt heavy and pressure started to grow behind her eyes. Her throat clenched, a knot forming there, keeping her from speaking. And soon the moisture in her eyes brimmed over the edge and onto her cheeks.

Brandon held a comforting arm around her as she spilled. She told him everything. From the beginning. A part of her hated it. She hated feeling so vulnerable. But maybe vulnerability was what she needed at the moment. Because another part of her was reminding her that yes, Brandon was the one that rescued her...twice! That should count for something. He wouldn't judge her because she was spilling her guts out to him. She needed this.

She told him about how she met Craig through work. How he was assigned as one of Victoria's Secret's photographers and how he asked her out and one thing led to another...she told him how things had gotten distant between them but she couldn't face it, so she followed him. She wanted to be loved by someone. She wanted someone to take care of her for once. One thing led to another and she told Brandon of her childhood. She explained how she watched over her sister and kept pushing away her desire for someone she could go to, permanantly. She even broke down and told him how she had made up a life for herself, with a mom and a dad. She was pathetic.

She explained what happened with Craig on Thursday and how stupid she felt for following him here. She was ashamed that she had convinced herself that he really loved her, even after four years. She loved him because she was desperate. He pretended to care because he needed a job. And when he finally built himself up, he left her in the dust and swapped spit with a cheap skank from the room above him. 

Kel let out everything she had been holding in. The facade that she had built up so well over the years finally cracked and busted open through her tear ducts. 

She even went so far as to tell him how jealous she was of her sister when growing up because she was normal sized and pretty and got asked out by nice guys...while she was on the other side, too tall, too big, and too mannish for anybody to even think about asking her to dance.

"You think that's why you never got asked out?" Brandon interrupted her.

She wiped away some tears and just looked at him, not really knowing what to say. 

"Listen to me, Kel," he said affirmatively. He bent his head down so his eyes could look straight into hers. He held her chin with his fingers. "You are not too big or too tall. You're gorgeous, okay? No one asked you out because they were afraid you would say no."

"I'm not too big?" She was crawling back into the deep hole she had dug over the years of insults about her physique. She wasn't used to flattery.

"No. Not at all. You're the size you need to be."

She sniffled and looked away. "You think I'm pretty?"

He didn't hesitate. "I think you're beautiful."

He couldn't tell completely, but Brandon thought he saw a faint smile touch her lips. 

"No one has ever told me I was beautiful before," she admitted.

"They should. You're stunning."

She looked up at him, with her beautiful, large, chocolate eyes. Her cheeks were pink and her lips were red, her wet hair was just starting to curl at the ends. 

All this time Brandon had been warning himself, keeping himself away from thinking about her in any way that might tempt him. But this time, it wasn't working. What he said before was right; she was beautiful to him.

"Don't look at me like that," he said quietly.

"Like what?" she wondered.

It only took another second of looking at her face before he leaned in closer. Not a moment later, his lips molded to hers. He took in the scent of her and the taste of salt from the tears on her lips. His hand came up to hold her face.

Kel felt the smoothness of his lips envelope her own. For five seconds she didn't move, and then she allowed her lips to part with his. Relief flooded over Brandon. He kissed her harder now, because he wanted to. He really wanted to. 

Five seconds later, Kel pulled back slightly, politely. Brandon noticed her caution and pulled away reluctantly. Kel took in a deep breath and looked at her hands. 

"It's late," he murmured. Kel nodded, but didn't move. She was dizzy from his kiss. "You must be exhausted. I'm sorry."

Her silence made him nervous. He slowly stood up to walk away, give her some space. Maybe it was a bad idea to have kissed her. He was starting to hate on himself again but she cut him off. 

"Brandon?" she asked quietly.

He looked at her, waiting.

She smiled and stood up next to him. "Thank you for listening to me." She kissed his cheek and bid him goodnight.