The Smell of Lilies

Chapter 23 - Brandon P.O.V.

I stayed with my family another day, they deserve that much at least.

After I picked Joseph up from school he wanted to show me all of his normal places to hang out. When he walked out of the high school's doors that I used to walk out of, one of his friends was with him. Some short kid with too many freckles. I kind of liked it when Joe smiled proudly and introduced me as his biggest brother. Freckles was about half my height, a little daunting.

It was also strange how most of Joe's hang out spots were mine as a teenager. The parking lot behind the library. The quad at the mall. The sandlot that wasn't a sandlot anymore.

It started raining so we went home. Joseph had homework and I promised my mom I'd spend some more time with her. This translated to her trying to brush up my Italian and show me for the hundredth time how to make lasagna. As a teenager, I'd gotten tired of it. But after twelve years away from her it would be a sin to say no to her. Plus, I missed they way she'd nod her head when I spoke Italian back to her.

"Sei un bravo ragazzo, Brandon," she would say, and I would continue mixing the sauce.

One of the things I learned growing up was that family was supposed to be solid. No matter what, if family needed you, that's where you had to be, because they're your family. That's rule number one.

I broke that rule pretty early on. Needless to say, I'm still paying for it.

"Mom?"

She didn't seem to hear me as she continued making the pasta. I smirked and said, "Momma?"

"Sì, figlio mio?"

"How are you so...okay?"

She seemed puzzled at first but quickly responded, "My son is home."

God, it killed me.

"You aren't upset with me? Twelve years is a long time, Momma."

"Yes, it was too long. The hardest thing as a mother is to see her children leave. But the best thing, is when they come back."

"You know I'm going to have to go again. Soon."

She nodded. "Yes, I know this."

I nodded. "I'll come back though. I hated being away. It took someone...very close to me to remember how lucky I am."

She smiled and wiped the sweat from her forehead. "I know you will. Someone close to you? A friend?"

I nodded slowly. "I'm going to try to see her when I leave."

"Ah," she said. "I see."

That's the great thing about my mother. You didn't need to say any details, she just knows. But I guess all mothers can do that. Unlike my brother who practically had to yank every bit of information from me to be satisfied.

"Can I tell you something?" she asked gently, folding the pasta over the sauce. "Make sure when you say you're sorry, you let her see that you mean it. Women hear to much of that silly word...'Sorry, sorry!'...Bah! It's too much! Lost it's meaning! After a while she starts to not trust people. You see?"

I wondered how many times Kel had heard the words, "I'm sorry". I wonder how many times Craig said it yesterday. Bastard. He doesn't deserve her.

But that's the thought that freaks me the hell out. What if he said it just enough? What if he wiggled his way back in and they're holding hands right now? The thought made me upset. It got me heated. Fucking prick.

That's exactly the thought that got me going. I wanted to drop everything and hop in my truck. But I can't run out on my mom so quickly. Not after all of this.

"Thank you, Momma," I say.

"Sei il benvenuto, mio figlio." You're welcome, my son.

It ended up being the best lasagna I've had in a long time.

~~~

"You're leaving?" Joseph asked hopelessly just as I was about to walk out of my old room.

I had already said goodbye to my mom and dad. Kyle was outside waiting for me. I saved Joseph for last because I didn't want to see him upset.

"I'll be back. I promise. Or you could come up to Chicago sometime."

"Really?"

"For sure."

"So...you're going to get her now, right?" he asked cautiously.

Kyle. Leave it to him to spill the beans.

I sighed, putting my last shirt in my luggage. "I'm going to try."

"Well, I hope it works out for you and everything." Joseph didn't know how to talk about these kinds of things. I didn't blame him.

"Thanks."

He gave me a tight hug before I walked out the door. If he didn't have school the next day, he probably would have wanted to come with me. I wouldn't let him anyway.

I said goodbye to Kyle and got in my truck.

The home I'd spent most of my life in and the rest away from it was soon out of my sight. Kel's house was five hours away. If I speed, I'll make it there tonight.