The Smell of Lilies

Chapter 20 pt 2

Craig's '95 red mustang pulled up to the curb outside of Kel's house. His license plate said 'GOTPIX?' and there was a yellow filing folder tucked into the dashboard in the window. Probably some head shots from his last gig. Kel peered from her kitchen window and watched Craig step out of his car. He had on his designer jeans and a plaid button down shirt. His black hair is how it always is, thrown to the side in a that intentional sexy, messy hairdo. The beginning of a beard shadowed his face; something he had never done before. How very artistic of him, Kel thought. A wave of contempt for this man washed over her. It was hard, no, it was more than hard, perhaps arduous or complicated, to stand and watch him walk up to her door. It was perplexing, strenuous, and depressing. Her heart had been ripped and stomped on twice in a week. She didn't know if she could handle any more rejection.

She didn't have to open the door. She didn't have to do anything. In reality, she could just go in her bedroom and ignore the knocks, let him figure it out that she just did not want to see him. Kel wanted to curl up into a tiny ball and disappear into an abyss. Maybe then everyone would forget about her and leave her alone. She could stay by herself, burn every single damn photo that had been taken throughout her modeling career, and drink her worries away. 

It was a nice fantasy. Very tempting. She opened the door.

"Kel," Craig said, almost in a whisper. There was a slight apologetic smile on his face.

But Kel did not smile. She didn't see the need to do so.

Craig didn't know whether to reach in for a hello-hug or what. But he could tell from her red eyes and stoic expression that this was no time for idleness.

It was a tad of an awkward silence. Awkward for Craig, anyway. He was the perpetrator here. Kel folded her arms to her chest and looked up at him. "Well?" she finally said. "Why are you here?"

Craig breathed deeply, searching for the right words. "I came to see you."

Kel let out a misanthropic scoff as she turned and got two wine glasses from her cupboard. She filled the glasses and handed him the one with less wine.

"Thanks," he said trying to meet her eyes. "Kel, I know it was stupid."

"Oh, it was more than just stupid," she mumbled taking an extra long swig of her wine.

Craig looked down at his leather shoes and chuckled nervously. "Yah, it was...I just, I needed to see you. To apologize."

"I think it's a little late for that," Kel said narrowing her eyes.

Craig set his glass down on the counter. "No, please let it not be too late for that. I'm sorry. You're right, it was more than stupid. Of course it was. I lost you. I was being a total -,"

"Dick."

"- and I didn't know what I was missing -,"

"Damn right you didn't."

"- and I want to try to fix this. I want you to come back with me, Kel. Please."

Kel finished her wine and looked at her glass. "You're an idiot."

Craig pursed his lips and didn't respond. He was still trying to gauge her reaction to his words, trying to see if they had made any impact. If so, Kel didn't let on.

"You're a rotten, cheating, bastard."

"...I know," he whispered, his throat tight.

"I hate you." Her voice was low and serious. How many times...How. Many. Times...had she wanted to say this to him this past week? It was empowering. For once, she was top dog here. He was begging her. No longer was she the one to crawl around making sure Craig got just what he wanted out of her, because she thought that that's what love meant. Making sure he was happy so he'd stay with her. No longer was she the one to beg.