Scarlet

Chapter 24-Scarlet

  He's laying on me. I'm pinned to the forest floor, and I know that he won't let me up until I tell him something, anything, about what's bothering me. His blue grey eyes bore into me, a strand of his blond hair, the color of straw, slips out from his hat. His pink lips are open the tiniest bit, and all I can think about is how I want to know what those lips taste like, what his hair feels like.

   "I can't tell you."

    "Why is that?"

   "It could kill you. It would put you in serious danger."

He can't find out about Gisbourne, he can't. He can't ever find out. Ever.

   "Scar. We don't keep secrets from each other. Tell me." I avoided eye contact, not wanting to tell him.

   "Is it about Gisbourne? Did he give you this?" Rob asked, gently, slowly, softly, running his thumb along the thin scar on my left cheekbone.

   I freeze up; how the fuck did he guess that? My eyes widen, my cap begins to slip off. I reach up, yank it back down, to cover my hair. He can't know.

    I wiggle out from under him.

   "All I'm going to say is that with Gisbourne here, it's not safe. Not for you, not for John, Much, Godfrey. No one."

   "How bad is it for you?" He asks gently.

    "Worse. Much worse." I start to walk away, but he pins me against a tree, his body tight against mine.

   "Scar. Answer me. Did Gisbourne give you the scar?" I look away, away from his eyes.

   "Goddamnit, will you ever tell me?" He asks, frustrated.

    "Not if I can help it. It's from a long time ago, a different life. A different person even." I say, knowing this is the first time I've actually let on that I haven't always had this lifestyle. I haven't always been a thief, an outlaw.

   He looks at me, deep into my eyes. I stare back, aware of how close he is. He pulls away, off of me, and suggests we go back to camp. I nod, too caught up in memories to be able to talk.

    Suddenly, when we're only a little bit outside of camp, he stops.

   "Scar, why the fuck won't you trust me enough to me tell me?" He bursts out, running a hand through his hair.

   "I do trust you." I say stubbornly.

   "No you don't; you don't tell me anything. Hell, you don't even tell anyone anything. Would it really kill you to tell me something, anything?"

   "Yes, it actually might!"

   "You know I'll protect you." He says, his jaw bunching up.

   "You don't understand. If Gisbourne gets me, then nothing can keep me safe. If he wants me, nothing will keep me safe and nothing will stop him." I answer, not thinking.

   "Then make me understand. If somethings threatening you, I WILL protect you! Why is it so fucking hard for you understand that?!" He replies, getting angry.

   "I can protect my own damn self." I hiss at him.

   "Obviously not, he sliced your fucking face open!" He shouts.

   "I was a fucking 13 year old! He's a grown man, of course he was able to hurt me! I'm lucky I escaped alive, don't you dare fucking talk to me about how I can't protect myself." I spat him, my whole body tense with fury.

   He pinned me against a tree again, glaring into my eyes. I glared right back, looking at him defiantly.

   "I. Will. Protect. You." He said firmly, leaving no room for argument.

   "You have no idea what you're up against." I say, avoiding eye contact.

   "Then fucking explain it to me!" He exclaims, getting more and more frustrated. I just shake my head. I pushed him off of me, and ran back to camp, ignoring the pain in my side.

   I walked over to Major Oak, where we all crash at night. I climb up to the top, to my hammock. The only place I feel safe. I pull my hat down over my eyes, and close my eyes, knowing I'll get hell tomorrow for climbing a tree.

   Fuck them. Fuck all of them. They think I can be saved, that I need saving. That I'm just some girl, who can't save herself.

   I never asked to be saved. I will never ask to be saved.

   I can save myself. The sooner they understand that, the better.