The Pledge (Jalex)

Alex The Ass

It wasn't as hard as I had originally thought it would be, keeping my pledge to myself. It was fairly easy and I was kicking myself for ever stressing out over it. Though I was running on absolutely no sleep, I was able to be sociable and actually function quite well. I think Rian was catching on to the fact that I wasn't being shy and wasn't just standing there when he'd talk to Matt about something.
"You okay?" Rian asked me at lunch. I nodded and drummed my fingertips on the table. I hadn't packed a lunch and hadn't eaten anything all day, but for some reason, I was happy.
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I asked him. He shrugged and bit into his lunch meat sandwich, taking his time answering me. He swallowed and opened his mouth.
"You seem different. Like, physically and, just different. Did something happen over break?" He asked me, lowering his voice slightly. I shook my head.
"No. I'm fine. I'm the same Jack. I just dress a bit differently." I told him. Something did happen over break, I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and take charge of my own happiness. I was tired of being angry and upset with the world and myself. The previous year was the last year I would spend being a depressed teen statistic.
"But, you actually talked to Matt, like talked to him." Rian pointed out to me. I raised an eyebrow at him. "You never do that. What's up dude? Did someone say something to you over break?"
"No, nothing like that happened. I just took charge of what I want, dude. I want to be more confident, more sociable. I want to be happy." I explained to him. He just stared at me like I was crazy, so I went on. "Look, Rian, I've been depressed for the past, what, six or seven years? I was tired of being sad and angry."
"You were depressed? Why didn't you say something?"
"I didn't want to bother you. That's not the point. I'm getting better, and I needed to make personal changes on myself. Just accept them, okay?"
"Okay. So, is the new wardrobe a personal change as well?"
"Yes. I've always wanted to dress like this. I just never had the confidence to."
"You look nice."
"Thank you." I smiled widely, because I was happy with myself. I knew that Rian still didn't completely understand my whole personal change thing, but he at least was accepting it.

After school, I rode the bus home, catching a glimpse of May with her friends, and prayed to a God I didn't believe in, that no one would bother me.
"Is this seat taken?" Someone asked me. I knew this would happen. Another bus had broken down, so the bus I usually rode was filled with kids from the broken down bus. People always assumed that I was kind enough to let them sit with me, and I was. But I was a changed more confident Jack. I looked up to see who it was, it was Alex, wearing that gray beanie on his head. I shrugged and scooted over. I had a very big problem with saying no to attractive people, even if I, myself, didn't find them attractive. "Thanks. Jack, right?" I nodded. I figured he'd shut up and wouldn't say another word to me, but the guy didn't shut up. "Are you listening to Fall Out Boy?" I nodded. "They're fucking awesome. I like those guys. You seen them in concert before?" I shook my head. "I have. They're amazing live. You have to see them." I nodded again. This guy. "I like your hair by the way. It's nice. You do it yourself?"
"No. I went to a hair salon." I spoke quietly, really hoping he'd shut up so I could actually listen to Fall Out Boy.
"Cool. Hey, is May Barakat your sister, or do you guys just have the same last name?" Alex was a fucking chatter box. I sighed, wrapping my headphones up and shoving them into my pocket, since I knew Alex wouldn't be quiet.
"Yeah, she's my sister." I told him. He glanced back at May.
"She's pretty. She's older than you right?"
"Yeah. I'm the youngest of three." I could see my stop coming up and I grabbed my bookbag strap.
"Well, that just proves it's true."
"What is?"
"That the youngest is always the cutest." My face went beet red as the bus pulled up to my bus stop. Alex stood, letting me through. "Have a good day, Jack." I dropped my head and got off the bus and began walking to my house. May walked up to me, slapping my shoulder playfully.
"Hey, how was your day?" May asked me. I shrugged.
"It was okay. Your's?" Me and May had a very weird relationship. When we were younger, we were like best friends, but as we grew up, we grew apart. She had different intrests then I did, so it wasn't like we just fought and never made up. We were still close, but we both could seriously go without talking to each other for days, and we stayed in the same house.
"It was good. It was so nice seeing everyone again. I saw you talking to Alex." She grinned at me mischievously. I shrugged, hoping that my face wasn't still red.
"Oh, and?" I mumbled. She stopped walking and looked at me.
"Are you blushing?" She asked me. I turned away from her.
"No." I lied. I could feel my face, cheeks practically on fire. She laughed.
"You are! What did he say to you?" She asked me. I shook my head and turned away from her. "What did he say?"
"Nothing. Don't worry about it." I mumbled, really hoping she'd drop it. She stopped laughing and let it go.
"Fine, but I know what it is." She paused. "You have a crush on him."
"I don’t. He's an asshole."
"He can be. But everyone has their asshole moments."
"Are you defending him?"
"He's cute, Jack. You'd be cute together." May was the only person besides Rian that knew about my sexuality. I was terrified of telling my parents, because I knew how they were about things. And really, no one else needed to know. It was no one else's business.
"Whatever. I'm pretty sure he's straight, May."
"You're gay-dar may be broken. I'm pretty sure he was doing some hardcore flirting with you."
"No, he wasn’t."
"Then why were you blushing?"
"Because I can."
"Fine, whatever. But I know what I saw, and my eyes don’t lie to me."
"You wear contacts, May!"
"That doesn’t mean anything."
"Yes, it does."
"Whatever. Race you home." May hit my with her shoulder bag, because she refused to use a bookbag, and took off. I raced after her, laughing the whole way home.