Lonely Hearts Club // Book One

Chapter Ten

January 30th, 2014

Thursday's were an apparent big deal for the Millar household. With my mum's friend Trish running around, cleaning every speck of dust in our house, and Greg getting ready for a date (the kid's growing up, I can't believe it), things were pretty crazy. And after what happened at the park with Luke, I haven't actually been able to talk to Calum yet. Nor have I talked to Luke. So I sat, in my room, with the Frozen soundtrack on high volume and the book If I Stay in my hands. My life was slow at the moment, with everyone else's going full speed around them. It was too complicated- knowing that someday I'll be a hectic young woman with the rest of her life in one decision. The I do's. First, I gotta find the man.

With everyone else thinking about themselves and nothing else, I was a soon-to-be train wreck, having no clue what to do with myself and no clue what my possible career could be in for the rest of my life. This was my upcoming last year of school, it was absolutely mental. Everything was mental- relationships, the fact that summer just started and was almost over, and whatever happened at the park two days ago. I couldn't wrap my head around it, yet fortunately for me, I was too caught up in If I Stay to call my only friends and talk.

Luke was at Calum's house everyday, it seemed now. From the window in my bedroom, I could see his front yard and that same Range Rover that sat there. I had nothing but to wonder what family meant to Luke, and if Calum was more like it than anything.

Old short stories and collected poems became my life, from the Oscar Wilde's works all the way to Emily Dickinson's Book I. of Life. It was a small portion of what my free time held, because I had all the free time in the world. If I ended up reading all of Gayle Forman's books in one single week- I had plenty of time to read some newly printed books from the library not too far from my house.

So I had to admit it, I was a nerd but not so much that I was in every honour's class at my school. I was too caught up in books and damned poetry in the past two days to go outside and expose myself to real light, not the artificial kind. Calum nor Luke had contacted me, so they must've been having a blast by themselves without a girl in the way.

You would get used to being in the way if it happened to you all the time, which in my case, was the major problem. But I wasn't used to it, I didn't fully know how to deal with being just a third-wheel. I would have to sit and come up with reasons of them forgetting me or purposely ignoring me. All I was, was a nuisance.

Back in Year five, a semi chubby kid (with a weird name I can't remember) would always make fun of me for how "ugly" I apparently was. I think I also recall him shoving the fact that he was richer and more popular up in my face. He was weird, but some eye candy for the girls back then. Who knows where he could end up being now? The kid moved to another school that fall. But whenever he saw me cry, something twisted in his expression- like misery or worry. I couldn't place it, but at the time I just brushed it off.

Just thinking back to it now, he was the reason everyone started calling me shitty names and dressing me as a huge nerd. Otherwise, things could be different. The part where I said I didn't know his name; remember? Yeah, it started with an L- which once led me to possibly coming up to the conclusion where it could be Luke. But I laughed at that. Luke had been homeschooled all his life was what he told me.

For the blonde-haired, chubby, ten year old bully was nothing to me anymore. It didn't matter that the nickname Paige the Pig- or even Piggy- was used on me until Year eight. That was four years ago, everyone was a new person. Yet, they hadn't matured.

One thing struck me funny.

Of how much that boy back then resembled Luke.

Their initials, everything.