Another Love Story Of A Mest Up Girl

Chapter Four

    **Trigger warning**

  I walk up the stairs of my house and take a deep breath in before unlocking the door.

"The Hell ! What took you so long? There's things you have to do instead of whoring around in the streets! Now go be useful and cook!" I hear my father yell as I close the door. I don't have much energy and I'm so sore, all I want to fucking do is fall into bed. I walk into the kitchen and prepare some food. It's pretty pathetic that a kid has to cook for their own parents. In normal, loving homes when a kid comes home from school their parents greet them with a "hello how was school?', but nope not in my house I have to pick up after them and cook for them like I was their slave. My parents work a few hours in the morning but then get home and do nothing. I finish making the rice and sandwiches and serve them on a plate. I bring them to the living room and hand it to them.

"What the fuck is this?" My dad says.

"Well its the only food there is" I say annoyed. My dad gets up instantly and slaps me.

"Don't talk to me in that tone" He screams into my face that I'm able to smell the alcohol in his breath.

"Well its the truth I think its time you should go grocery shopping" I knew I shouldn't have said that, I knew that I should have just gone into my bed and just sleep. But It seems like Ive lost my fear so I say it anyways. In the next second he pulls my hair and throws me to the ground. He unbuckles his belt eagerly and begins to beat me. I lay there still just covering my face.

"Don't ever talk to me like that you disgusting piece of shit" He finishes me of by kicking me three times on the ribs. He picks me up by pulling my hair.

"Now leave" I walk up to my room and close the door. I let all of my tears fall out. I fall on to the floor and just cry wanting all the pain to get out of me. Its not enough though I want to find a release, but the only other option I have is my blade. I promised myself last week I would stop but its impossible at this time when you've become addicted. I walk to a small jewelry box I have and look for my sharpener blade. I take my pants off, fall into the floor, and rip the skin of my thighs open. I watch the blood just pour out and feel calm right away. I take out my diary from between my mattresses.

Dear Diary,

             Hello there again, Well I haven't been having great days.

It's not like I ever have great days though. Today I got jumped and My father beat me

again. I don't know why they treat me like this. ever since I can remember they've treated me horrible.

Well, I triggered my dad to hit me. Today was weird I felt like I didn't care about any consequences. 

I didn't feel fear when my dad was yelling at me and I still said something back when I knew what would happen. It's kinda scary.

Also, Ive cut again. I had a relapse. I went a whole week without it but oops ruined that goal. Now my legs are a bloody mess.

So apart from home, school isn't going that great either, everyone hates me like usual. I don't understand why either?

Ive never hurt anyone, so why hurt me? Each day that passes by I'm becoming more vulnerable.

  All that I want is to be normal and have a normal life.

I want to be happy.