Originally posted on 'Musings Of A Weirdo'. Check it out on the blog, in the external link.
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When I was younger,
I was carefree
I had people I could call friends;
I was joyful
I was too young to know
of pain, of hurt, of broken trusts
Too far away in my own haven
To even think of deceit
Until suddenly,
it was all gone
I saw the world
For what it really was
It was grey, black and
Swirling with colours unknown
My eyes were opened
But my heart was broken
How could something so beautiful
Turn so ugly in a matter of seconds?
A palette filled with hope and joy
Was now tainted by the Pandora's box
Where my brick walls had once stood firm
Lay a pile of rubble and dust
Exposed before my young eyes
Were the things I was shielded from
As everything seemed to
get progressively worse
I started shrinking into myself,
even more than ever
And the walls around me
kept growing and growing
Until they stood tall and unshaken
cemented firmly
I was afraid to get out
I was afraid to explore
The world beneath the darkness
The joy beneath the sadness
The voice inside my head
Had become my only solace
Believe me, I fought against it
But eventually... I was overcome
Slowly, I started pulling away
The relations I knew, ceased to exist
Everything I felt was bottled up
Locked and left for no one to see
Attempts were made
To try and break in
But they knew, it was a lost battle
I wouldn't let them in
From time and again
I'd glance out of my bubble
I'd hear laughter and fun
I'd see brightness all around
Then, a pain so sharp
Would rip through me
And then I'd further
cave into myself
It was a lonely life
The life of an outsider
But I kept telling myself
I'd never get hurt this way
But my traitorous heart
Wouldn't ever listen
It yearned for company
It yearned to belong
But you know the biggest flaw?
I did this to myself
I chose to stay inside
When everything moved forward
I could've chosen to get back out
Nobody was stopping me
I was my own captive
I was my own victim
I've been trapping myself in here so long
That I've forgotten how the very air feels
Maybe its not too late
Maybe its time to stop hiding out
To step out and see for myself
That hope isn't completely lost
It's hidden in the littlest of things
I just have to find it
YOU ARE READING
Musings of a Weirdo.
PoetryWelcome to the part of me that refuses to stay still. A mind filled with restless thoughts and too many ideas. An amalgamation of the different and conflicting part of myself. The angsty side, the bitter side, the euphoric side and the random...