Musings of a Weirdo.

ix || Let Go

Originally posted on 'Musings Of A Weirdo'. Check it out on the blog, in the external link.

_______________________

 I watched as her wrinkled,

calloused hands

faced the daily spite

of ungrateful words,

uttered from the mouth

of the very person

she painstakingly labored for.

I watched as his words

did their damage,

uncaring about the smile

that no longer resided on

her face and the poisonous

words that filled her head

"It was all my fault".

But she held her tongue

and said nothing,

holding that everlasting

hope that he hadn't

completely lost himself.

Hope that would be never

be enough to cure him for,

I could see that he was gone.

I watched the guilt take over

his mind as those vicious

words took over his heart.

They made him forget

all that she'd done and that

that this was the one person

who'd never managed to lose hope.

One moment he'd be warm.

The next, she wouldn't be

able to recognize him.

God, how he hated himself.

How he loathed what he'd

done to her but in a snap

...it would all be forgotten.

And that's how they left

the world. Him, unforgiving

and her, tolerating it all.

My eight-year-old heart,

scarred by their toxic relationship,

yearned for them to find

peace; at least in their deathbed.

It's been years but they've

left their marks on me.

They still linger on my mind,

making me fear the way I

would behave with a beloved.

Because I'm too scared to

turn out like them and

lose too much of myself.

Sometimes, I would see

too much of myself in Her.

And his gentle eyes would

warp and twist and suddenly,

I'd see Him smiling at me.

Just when my heart would race,

his kind eyes would reveal themselves.

Slowly, I'd stopped seeing myself

in Her. I stopped looking for Him

in my beloved's handsome face.

It was only us and nothing more.

I was finally free of it.

But I was wary of commitment

for I would bind myself; forever.

One day, when he asked to be

mine I realized that the fear

was all in my head.

we were never going to be Them

because when I gave him

my heart, he didn't crush it.

He cradled it and I knew it was safe.

I finally knew I could let go.