Her Smile (Part2) [JK]

Chapter 14: Turn Back

{Chapter 14: Turn Back}

<<Side Note: Make sure you have tissues by your side just in case lolol>>

<<Another Side Note: Please read Author's Note for details related to the future of this story!>>

[Jungkook's POV]

I lie on the couch in their dorm, my eyes looking around the dark room with the only signs of light coming from the moon outside the window. I slowly begin to think back to the times I shared with MinJi when we went to high school, both the good and the bad memories we shared together. We grew up so much compared to then... We both changed, but we're still together after all this time. Throughout all the hardships, we fought to be together.

But what about now? What is happening to us now?

I feel that the love we felt for each other has changed over time, too. How does one truly express their love for the other? Kisses? Hugs? Plain words? What if you love someone so much, that words can't begin to describe the amount emotion you feel towards the other? Is all of this emotion just put into a small four lettered word?

MinJi, how am I going to love you? How am I going to love you, when there's all these mixed emotions inside me. As each day passes, I feel that it's all just getting worse for me- that I'm making my life worse and yours. How do I love you when I feel like we're going to lose each other in the end?

I sit up abruptly at the thoughts that had purged suddenly into my mind. What the hell am I thinking? We- We won't lose each other! I won't lose my love for MinJi. How could I possibly think something like that? What the hell is wrong with me??

"I told you I fucking forgot. I'm human, I forget!"

"STOP! Just- Just stop asking if I'm okay! I'm fine!!"

"Oh? And like you do? You always pretend to act fine when you're not."

I blink as I hunch over, resting my elbows on my knees as I thread my fingers through my hair slowly. I feel my fingernails scrape against my skull and I close my eyes at the feeling. MinJi's words continue to pierce my thoughts. Even when my eyes are closed, I can practically see them stamped beneath my eyelids.

MinJi, you're always hiding how you're truly feeling from me, and I'm always hiding how I feel from you. But why? Why do we always do this to each other? Why are we clashing so much? Why do we clash so much? What is happening to us?..

I think back to the times where I kissed her hands, back to the times when I watched her smiling so brightly as she ran to me with her arms spread wide to give me a hug. I remember the times she cried and I remember how her lovely lips looked when they trembled. I hate seeing her so upset...

I feel my chest tighten and I look towards MinJi's closed door. I wonder if she's upset right now. I'm sure she is- I can practically feel it. I get up as I feel my heart twist again, my steps fast but light as I make it to her door. I go to knock on the wooden barrier separating us, but I pause. Won't she just tell me to leave again?

My hand falls back to my side, defeated and limp. Will she push me away if I try to comfort her?

I swallow as I rest my head on the door, my eyes closing as I move my hand to rest against the door. MinJi, I'm here. Even if you push me away, I won't let us lose ourselves. I won't let us drift away. I won't... I won't let this world break us.

I suddenly imagine MinJi walking away from me, her form retreating as she walks farther and farther away. I feel my hand that rests on her door clench into a fist tightly. I won't let her walk away. I won't let her push me away. I'm here, damnit, and I'm staying!!!