Because of Him

18

Chapter Eighteen

What bothered me as I felt myself waking up was the steady and faint sound of an odd beeping. I wasn't awake enough to open my eyes, but just enough to make me aware of my surroundings. At first, I thought that I was just in my bed, and that the beeping was just my alarm clock, waking me up for school–but this beeping was different. It was steady and constant. It wasn't like the annoying, blaring sound my alarm clock made in the early hours of the day, and this certainly wasn't my bed. It was too stiff and the sheets were too scratchy.

I felt a mask strapped to my face, and slowly, I opened my eyes. My gaze met the ceiling; it was covered in white, squared tiles and every third tile was transparent–a rectangular light bulb shining from inside it. The brightness was too much for my eyes, and I squinted in an attempt to adjust myself to the light. With the eye movement, I felt something covering my left eyebrow. I lifted my hand and touched it. There was a gauze taped securely to my eyebrow.

What the hell?

As I brought my hand down, I caught the sight of a white bracelet wrapped around my wrist. Even more confused than I was before, I looked to my right, where the beeping was coming from. It was a machine with a screen that showed a red line that rose and fell along with the beeping. On the top left corner was a small red heart, but instead of rising and falling, it flashed. A heart monitor.

I lifted my fingers to my neck, searching for my pulse. Every time my heart beat, the machine beeped. I frowned, wondering what the hell was going on when I finally realized it.

I looked all around me. I was on a hospital bed, in a hospital room, wearing a hospital bracelet and a hospital gown.

That was when I saw it. The car spinning uncontrollably; the lights flashing, swirling together; the airbag shooting out and striking my face; the sound of breaking glass–everything came back to me, and I started to panic.

My hands flew up to the mask on my face, and I tried pulling it off, but my hands were trembling. I felt my heart beating faster and faster. The heart monitor I was hooked up to read that and also began beeping at the same pace. I needed to get out of here. I managed to pull the mask off but as soon as I did, I couldn't breath. I gasped like a fish out of water, struggling to get enough oxygen into my lungs.

That was when someone rushed over to me. They took the mask from my hands and placed it back over my nose and mouth gently. I was able to breath again, and I took a huge gulp of air. My eyes flickered up.

Logan.

"Breath," he said softly, "just focus on breathing." He took my hand, rubbing the pad of his thumb over my palm.

Much to my humiliation, I began to cry.

"Hey, it's okay. You're going to be alright."

Tears trailed down my cheeks. The flashbacks of the car crash; what happened at the party; how I yelled at Logan; being in the hospital.. It was overwhelming.

I closed my eyes, wishing I could just be anywhere else but here. Wishing I could go back in time, back to the party to avoid bumping into Kacey. Go back, and not take all my anger out on Logan. I just wanted to go back before any of this happened.

When I opened my eyes Logan was looking down at me with worry and concern, and he was still holding my hand, trying to comfort me.

"I'm sorry," I whispered through the oxygen mask. "I shouldn't have yelled at you. None of this would've happened if I had just stayed with you."