Because of Him

48

a/n: the time has finally come! four years in the making and this story is about to come to its end. this is the last chapter of Because of Him. I hope you enjoy it.

happy reading ❤️

Chapter Forty-eight

They say getting over someone takes time. Let me be the one to tell you–it's a lie. All it takes is your energy.

          I cried for a week straight after our breakup. It was odd because I cried more than I did on the anniversary of my parents' death. I know–it sounds bad, but I think it was because Logan had been the center of my world since I moved here. He was everywhere.

He was at the park, at our secret hideout. He was in my room, where I opened up to him and one of the places he told me he loved me. He was in the rose bushes, and in my books. Most importantly, he was in my head, and there was no way to erase him from my memory completely.

          He tried everything to get me to talk to him after it all happened. He left me voicemails and text messages, but I deleted them all without second thought. He came to the house looking for me so many times, but I couldn't bare the thought of seeing him or even listening to his voice, and Emmie never gave him the chance to explain anything before telling him to go home.

          The Monday we went back to school, I almost fell apart when I saw him in the class we had together. Because he looked horrible–which only made me angrier because he had nothing to feel upset about–and because just seeing him made me cry like I'd never cried before. I sat in a different seat so I wouldn't have to sit next to him and made new routes to my classes. I started eating lunch in the bathroom and after a few days, with Faith, who insisted on joining me even when I wanted to be alone. Our friends tried fixing things between us, but nothing they could have done or said would make me talk to him.

         At work, Logan was harder to ignore. If we were ever in the kitchen at the same time or walking towards one of our tables at the same time, he would try to explain himself right then and there. But after talking to our manager about the situation, John promised he'd try his best to schedule us on different days, and if we did happen to work the same night, I steered clear from him and found ways to avoid bumping into him.

          One of the hardest things of it all was having to explain to Katie why I couldn't come over anymore. The thought of being back in their house made me sick to my stomach, so, I started visiting Katie in the hospital more, when I knew Logan wouldn't be there. Mindy didn't know what had happened; I knew by the way she looked at me. We never talked about it, but she never stopped treating me like her son's girlfriend.

          Logan's calls and persistence to talk to me went on for a month. It felt like he was never going to give up, like he would fight for me until I finally forgave him. But then, like most things, eventually everything started dying down.

After the first month, I could see the drastic change in the attempts he made to reach me, and after the second, there was hardly any word from him. It was towards the end of April that everything finally stopped.

I felt relieved–at first. Short after, a small, tiny, minuscule part of me relived heartbreak. He had given up, and if he had given up, that meant there was no other explanation to what I saw that night.

The only good thing about his lack of persistence was that moving on became my new best friend. It was hard for me to ignore him when we passed each other in the hallways at school, but it became easier. I got used to not talking to him. I got used to going about my life and pretending he wasn't everything to me. Our prom happened, and despite our plans to go together, I didn't bother. I didn't do any of the activities we planned to do together, and after four months, I realized all my plans for the future and for my life after high school no longer involved Logan.