Because of Him

20

Chapter Twenty

I was in the passengers seat of Logan's car, and the windows were rolled down. I had my arms folded on the window sill and my head rested on top of my arms. The mixture of the wind entangling my hair and grazing my skin and the warm sunlight resting on my face made me breathe in with satisfaction. It felt so calming, and I suddenly knew why dogs liked sticking their heads out of car windows so much.

When I opened my eyes, I saw from the side mirror that Logan was stealing glances at me. I noticed a small smile stretch across his face.

"What?" I asked, turning my head to look at him.

He shook his head and suppressed a smile. "Nothing."

I eyed him for a second or two before laying my head on my arms again, biting back a smile and going back to enjoying the cool breeze on my face.

Logan was driving me to the hospital to visit Katie since I no longer had a functioning car to drive. We arrived at the hospital minutes later, sadly putting an end to the whole sticking my head out the window thing. We walked to the front together, and Logan casually rested his arm across my shoulders. The little flips my heart was making were ridiculous, but I couldn't help it. I decided to speak in efforts to control my heart.

"Thanks for driving me."

He smiled down at me. "That's what friends are for, right?"

Friends.

I didn't think that one word to sting, but it did. I suppose it was because I knew he could never feel what I felt for him. We were from completely different worlds; he was the popular, good-looking guy that every girl swooned over and every guy wished they could be, where I, on the other hand, was the not-so-popular and the not best-looking girl who, not to mention, was bullied and didn't have many friends. There were much, much more attractive girls at our school that he could choose from; he wouldn't choose me. But I forced a smile onto my lips anyway, and I pretended his words had no affect on me.

We reached Katie's room. Logan lifted his hand and lightly knocked on the door. When we heard Mindy call out a come in!, Logan pushed the door open slowly and we walked in together. Mindy saw who we were and stood up from the chair next to Katie's bed, giving us a warm smile.

"Hey, guys."

Making my way over to her, I noticed how much more prominent the bags under her eyes and the creases on her forehead were. I knew the fact that her six-year-old daughter had cancer and that she had a small percentage of surviving it was taking a toll on her. I couldn't imagine how stressful everything was for her.

She brought me into her arms, giving me a light squeeze. She pulled away and walked behind me, this time taking Logan into her arms. She was a bit shorter than me, and when she hugged Logan, she had to stand on her tippy-toes. A small smile grew on my lips as I watched them hug.

I walked over to the bed and gazed down at Katie's sleeping figure. Plopping down onto the chair beside her bed, I gently ran my finger across her small forehead. She was so beautiful; even without her hair and being so thin and fragile. I felt someone's presence next to me, and I knew it was Logan when I saw his hand reach out to caress Katie's cheek. She looked so peaceful asleep.

"How have you been feeling, Lauren? You know, after the car accident?" Mindy asked me, breaking the silence that had engulfed the room. It was then that I remebered that I still had my bruises, and I suddenly felt extremely self-conscious in front of them. They didn't hurt anymore, they were kind of just there, screaming hey, look at me, I was just in a car accident!