Hey Y/n,
So it's been a year since I moved, from Kansas to Cali. It's been great, I mean with YouTube and stuff blowing up I haven't really done much yet. But I have realised one thing, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.
The way you are there for me when I'm sad, you are that shoulder I need to cry on, that smile when I need to laugh, the road when I need to get away from things and I can't thank you enough for that.
I know I haven't written to you in a long time, this is the first letter in 5 months and the first time I've actually talked to you. I promised I would stay in contact, but I didn't. I've disappointed myself and ruined the one promise I made to you.
I've ignored you, when you needed me. I ignored you when you needed a shoulder to cry on, I ignored you when you needed a smile to laugh with and I ignored you when I needed to get away from your stress.
I'm sorry for that, YouTube changed me. I'm not happy, I need you here. But there isn't an easy way to just get you here.
I need a hug, I need a kiss, I need a handhold, I need a date. I need something! I miss you so god damn much and I can't express the fact that you where the only thing keeping me going.
Yes I've been a complete dick towards you, but just know I will never leave you're side again. I'm never going to ignore you, I will always be you best friend.
But know you're gone...
That stupid drunk driver took your life...
He took my princess...
He took my best friend...
He took my girlfriend to be...
I'm never going to forgive him...
Why do the worst things happen to the most stunning, kind-hearted and generous people?
Maybe one day I'll see you again, up in heaven where I'm sure you are looking down at me right now. As I place this letter on your grave 1 year after the accident, I moved because I thought I'd forget. I still wrote for the first few months but stopped, I wanted to forget because it was so hard for me to realise you where actually gone.
Now I realise I never want to forget you.
I love you Y/N...
But I never got the chance to tell you...
Love from Tanner <3
