Our Own Infinity // The Fault in Our Stars story epilogue

∞ 8.6 ∞

"I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once."

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The next day after the support group meeting, I don't have energy to even wake up the bed. I guess, this is what dying feels like. So, dad brought me breakfast on bed. They eat with me, on my bed.

The door bell rings. "I will answer it." Dad says and goes out my room to open the door. Mom is having her cup of coffee and watching a morning show on my bedroom TV.

Dad came back after a few moments. "Hazel, honey, you have visitors from a very far place. Want me to bring them in or you'll go out the living room?"

Mom stands. "Who?"

"Mr. Van Houten with a lady."

Mr. Van Houten? Who is the lady he is with and what are they doing here? "I am a little tired. I guess it will be fine if you just make them come here."

"Sure, Hazel. I will just call them."

Before they leave, mom gets the tray and says, "We will be back, Sweetie."

I nod and turn my TV off and sit straight. It takes me a lot of strength to do so.

"Hazel!" I am surprise to hear her.

"Lidewij!" I say. "What are you doing here?"

"We came here just to give you something." She looks at me with pity, then with joy. Peter emerges to the room.

"Hazel Grace, long may you live." He says calling at me. I hate him but well, now he looks different.

Mom enters my room and gives them juice. "Hazel, we will leave you." Mom smiles as she close the door.

Lidewij hands me a rectangular present wrapped in pink scented paper. "What's this?"

She looks at Peter. "That, which is something so important." He says. "Open it."

I open it. Inside is a book entitled: An Imperial Satisfaction. Below the title is a phrase that I always needed my entire life!

The much awaited sequel to the number one bestselling book, An Imperial Affliction.

"Am I even dreaming?" I say with joy. Most of my life I am re-reading AIA, I don't know what happened to Anna after. I want to know. I need to know. Finally it is here. "Gus will be happy for this!"

Their face darkened. "He is actually the main reason I made that book. The sequel he made is actually great. I regret he I didn't tell him. I was just... I don't want to write anymore. It will just remind me so much from my past. I scanned his work in my computer, the one I gave you is the real one, and I guess you like to have it."

"I haven't read it. I just read the letter he wrote for me, not the sequel. I was afraid my feelings will push me so far." I admit. I just kept his notes in a box then stored it in my closet.

"When I got home from his funeral, I re-read his work. The thing you said in his funeral, it inspires me. I finish it within a week then look for Lidewij. That is another thing you both made me realize." He places his hand behind her waist. "After Anna's death, I never knew there is still someone who will be there for me. I just know all the people important to me leave me. But she didn't. She was there for me, when I became successful with my book, when I became a bastard and sober. She is always there. I just screwed it up." He explains.

"Well, it wasn't that easy, you know." She contradicts. "It took him hours for begging me to come back. I did just because, not to contemplate the fact that I know you and Gus not so long, but well enough to know you are nice and you deserve answers." She pauses. "I immediately called the publisher agent to review the book as soon as possible then publish it."

"Thanks. You don't know how happy I am." I say to them.

"Promise me to finish that book. I don't want to know I just wasted my time. I made that book for you. I hate the boy. He didn't have a time the time to see it." Peter joked.

I laugh. "Oh, yes I will. I will finish it tonight. I won't sleep until I did."

"No, you need to rest and sleep early or else your folks might curse us and go to Amsterdam themselves."

"I truly promise to finish it, before I go away from this world." I don't want to use the word die.

"We will be late in our flight home, we got here yesterday to give that personally to you and do a book signing in a bookstore." Peter explains, holding Lidewij's hand and leading their way to my door.

I nod. "Thank you so much."

Peter stops and looks at me again. "Stop thanking, child. I think we are the one who should give gratitude after these things you did to us. You changed our lives." He shows me their entwined hands. They are together now, I guess. Peter, from the drunkard guy we've seen him months from now, became a decent man. Yes, he truly changed a lot. That made him looks younger. He and Lidewij are a great couple. "I will send invitation for our marriage."

I smile at them.

"Wait," Lidewij stops, remembering something. "Peter, I want to have a moment with Hazel for a while."

Peter raises his brows and she says, "Alone."

"Oh, yeah, yeah," He says. "What do you call that? Girl talk?"

Lidewij just raise her brows at him and he goes out the room. "Hazel, sorry for that."

I shake my head. "I like that Peter more than the one we first saw. He changed a lot. Oh, and his perfume doesn't smell wine anymore."

She laughs. "That's because he stopped drinking. He said he realized how important he must value life, and drinking is definitely not the way to value it."

I smile at her. She is always so good to us.

"I am here because I like to thank you personally. I never really thought he and I will... you know, work out together. I am his PA for years but only now I realize how important he is to me. While I read An Imperial Satisfaction for the first time for the review and editing, there I came to think of who he really is. You fall in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, then all at once. For me, I am in a deep wonderful dream." She smiles, "Although sometimes a nightmare."

"Well thank you too for making An Imperial Satisfaction possible."

"Peter is right. If you ever say another thanks, we will take that back." She gestures to the book they gave me. She holds my hand. "Hazel, that, this, and us," She points to the book again, then gestures to herself to show her beautiful dress, and points to my door as if saying everything right now with her and Peter. "Wouldn't be possible if it isn't for you." She smiles widely again and stands. "We need to go now." She checks her watch.

"Have a safe flight." I say weakly.

She nods. When she opened the door and called Peter, a question comes in my mind. "Mister VanHouten, Lidewij," I call them. "The title? What does it mean?"

Peter takes steps towards me. "An Imperial Satisfaction... That's because I am satisfied. Anna, wherever she is, I know she is too. She is in happiness now, for she lived her life worth even for a short while. And that, is the greatest satisfaction anyone could ever get, even if you died because of cancer."

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