I love you (Clintasha)✔️

✬♧16♧✬ Gone

From that day on, Natasha hang around Bucky frequently.

At first Bucky was hesitant, but seeing her smile fade whenever she left him to go back with Clint...he wanted her to be happy, so he didn't reject her as much as before.

Clint didn't say anything. He couldn't say anything. He knew keeping Natasha by his side and forcing her to be his wife again would only hurt her and cause her to be unhappy. He put himself in her shoes - living with a complete stranger yet having to pretend and live up to the role of a wife...it was difficult, and he didn't want to put her in a spot either.

As for Natasha, she was conflicted too. She knew that she was bound to Clint legally and was obliged to stay with him, but she couldn't help but want to find her new happiness. Since that feeling emerged, she couldn't suppress it.

She was very much aware that she was hurting Clint and there was nothing to justify her actions but...but what? She didn't know.

Here she was sitting on Bucky's couch waiting for him to come back with some popcorn so they could watch a movie together.

She was just looking around absently to occupy herself when her head began to hurt. It began as a dull ache which soon developed into a searing pain, much like a hammer consistently pounding on a nail.

Natasha brought both hands to her temples and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees.

The noises of her surroundings were suddenly drowned out, she felt like she had been plunged underwater.

And she felt heavy, like she was being pulled downwards by an anchor attached to her ankle.

And out of the blue she heard something, someone. The voice was muffled at first and seemed to be shouting.

Then she saw this figure before her, blurry at first but soon it became clear that it was a man, in a wheelchair.

She was there, in the room with him.

And she felt herself crying, with this intense pain in her heart as if it was being swallowed. It wasn't a physical pain, it was something deeper, her very feelings of affection were being ripped to shreds.

Then Natasha heard it loud and clear.

Your sympathy disgusts me!

"No!" Natasha screamed and clutched her head as tears streamed down her face, in reality.

Bucky immediately ran out from the kitchen and to her side, hugging her to him, trying to calm her down by rubbing her back.

"Natasha, it's okay, it's okay."

A wave of familiarity hit her as she buried her head in Bucky's chest and felt his strong arms wrap around her.

It was how the memory ended.

Her running out of Clint's room and down the hallway, stopping at a door and knocking on it. The door opened and she lunged forward at the person standing there - Bucky, and he embraced her quivering form and consoled her.

"What happened, Natasha? What did you remember?" Bucky asked in a hushed tone and Natasha managed to choke out all that she remembered from her memory.

"...B-Bucky, I'm scared...I don't want to remember him!" The pain she re-experienced from that memory was too great, it scarred her.

"...I just want to be with you." The tears flowed freely down her face as she looked up at him.

Bucky cupped her face with his hands.

He dried her tears with the pad of his thumbs but didn't reply. He couldn't bring himself to admit that he wanted to be with her too.

Natasha buried her head in the crook of his neck, comforting herself with his presence.

When Natasha had fallen asleep and he had carried her up to his bed and tucked her in, Bucky closed the door and went back out to the living room.

He called Clint, and told him about what Natasha had remembered.

Throughout the call, Clint didn't speak a word, but Bucky knew he was listening.

It wasn't until the call had ended that the gravity of it all hit him.

Clint felt his heart plunge into a bottomless abyss.

Natasha had remembered him, but only the part where he had hurt her so badly.

A string of tears rolled down his cheek like a broken pearl necklace and he tried to blink them away but to no avail.

His wife, his heart, was gone.

As night fell, Clint didn't move from his seat. He didn't turn on the lights either.

She wasn't coming home.

He was heartbroken, but he made up his mind that night.

He decided to let her go, not because he doesn't love her enough, but because he loves her so much that he wanted her to be happy - with or without him.

🌿⚓️🌸❁🌸❁🌸❁🌸❁🌸⚓️🌿
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