Running Out of Time

Chapter 23 - Things Have Changed For Me

"What did you tell him," Eliza looked over at Maria as they made their way down the road.

"The thing your sister didn't want him to know."

"Maria," Eliza half chuckled, "you know he won't shut up now."

--

"Peggy," Angelica shut the door behind her as she walked inside.

"Angelica," Peggy stopped before she was too far down the hall. "I just want to know what's going on."

"It's really not that big of a deal," Angelica tried to settle her. It was clear that some of this was probably a little built up.

"Why can't you just tell me?"

"Okay, I guess so," Angelica knew she would have to give up at some point, it was probably better to go ahead of time.

--

Hamilton had been standing in the mirror for twenty minutes now. He was trying to decide if he wanted his hair up or down. He would finally settle on one but then change his mind, it was taking longer than he thought it would.

"Okay," Hamilton wasn't sure how long Laurens had been standing in the doorway, "so, do you want to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?" Hamilton looked over at him, "my son or our engagement?"

"The second one."

"What about it," Hamilton turned to face him batter as he finally decided to leave his hair down. 

"Yeah it's just, I'm still a little confused."

"About what?"

"Well," Laurens thought for a moment about how to word things despite most things not coming out how he would like, "it just seemed a little like you knew I was thinking about it."

"I did."

"How," Laurens looked at him as if he were studying his face. He was looking for an answer that didn't exist in the way he wanted it to.

"I was not a ghost but sort of a ghost, remember?" Hamilton almost chuckled at his own words. It did sound a little strange to actually say out loud. He remembered it though, or at least he remembered parts of it.

"Really," Laurens raised an eyebrow. He had almost expected more.

"Really," Hamilton fiddled with his hair bow again.

"Okay," Laurens knew that was probably the best answer he would get for now. "You have fun today, alright?" He could tell that Hamilton was nervous. Eliza had set up a little lunch date for him and Philip to spend some time together.

"I will," Hamilton smiled. He would try.

--

Laurens had been sitting on the couch scrubbing on a notepad when Hamilton came rushing through the door. Before Laurens could even open his mouth to ask how things went, Hamilton was already in the kitchen. It didn't take long for Laurens to also be in the kitchen. At first, he didn't say anything, he just leaned on the doorframe and watched Hamilton put the kettle on.

"He doesn't hate me," Hamilton didn't turn to face him.

"I could've told you that," Laurens explained.

"But Laurens," Hamilton turned, he made no attempt to hide the fact that his eyes were puffy from tears, "he doesn't hate me."

"Are you alright," Laurens stepped closer.

"It was my fault but he doesn't hate me. Laurens, he died." Hamilton took a breath in an attempt to calm himself down as Laurens helped him sit.

"Alexander, it's okay," Laurens could tell that he wasn't having the best time.

"I know," Hamilton roughly wiped his face, "I just thought he..." he trailed off. Hamilton had spent decades convinced that his son had been holding something against him for all these years. It had been somewhat of a shock to find out he had been completely wrong. At the very least, Hamilton had managed to hold himself together until he got to the doorstep.

"I'll make your tea," Laurens patted his shoulder and went to get a cup from the cupboard.

--

"How'd it go," Theodosia raised an eyebrow at the little dance Philip was doing across the living room.

"It went," he stopped for a moment, "better than expected." Philip had almost expected the whole meeting to go sour in some way but it hadn't. It had almost gone better than when he met Eliza. He was still sort of amazed at how well it had gone.

--

"Why didn't you tell me that part," Hamilton was a little bit tired and still a little emotional. Laurens had managed to convince the Schuyler sisters to come over and help him. The goal had originally been just Eliza but usually it ended up being all of them. Laurens didn't mind.

"Alexander," Eliza calmly started, "that happened like five lifetimes ago or something, you knew he would let it go."

"What I know and what is aren't always the same thing Eliza," Hamilton did his best to remain as calm as he could be.

"Alexander, it's okay."

"I guess so," he sighed.

It didn't take long for the combination of the sisters and Laurens to calm Hamilton down and get him back to his usual state. Just as everything seemed to be settling down, Angelica pulled Alexander to the side.

"I have something to tell you," she wasn't exactly sure how she was going to approach this.

"What is it," Hamilton leaned against the wall.

"If you freak out I will hit you."

"Okay, just tell me."

Alexander listened as she explained what was going on. He wasn't completely convinced he understood what was happening but he knew it was big.

"So what does it mean," he looked up at her.

"I'm not sure."

"Okay," he nodded.

"You're not mad, are you?"

"Angelica, you're basically family, I couldn't be mad over this."

--

Hamilton put his head on Laurens' shoulder. They had been sat there by themselves for some time. They had been trying to work on Hamilton's writing. He had a bad habit of trying to push himself but Laurens usually caught him and made him take a break. It was a slow process but he was finally able to write something that could be read before he started to shake too bad.

He was still thinking about what Angelica had told him. He wasn't upset at all, he thought it was pretty great, he just didn't understand. Things like that were impossible for them. Usually things were pretty much the same every time they came back from death, this time was extremely different. He knew he wasn't the only one who felt that something strange was going on.

Hamilton wasn't sure if Laurens knew or not but he could understand that it wasn't his place to say anything. He would figure all out in time. For some reason he felt like time was something they had to spare. It was as if they had all the time in the world. It was unusual but Hamilton almost didn't want to think about it.

--

Peggy sat back and quietly talked to Laurens through the phone. "Okay, settle down, why are you freaking out?"

"It was a really good dream Peggy, everything was so nice."

"Laurens, it's three in the morning."

"I can't ever have it. Peggy, it was the best thing that could happen and it never can, I hate it."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that."

"Are you trying to tell me it could happen?"

Peggy was much more awake than she had been in the beginning. "I'm saying it's possible."

"How?"