Maddison Winchester: Journal 6 {Supernatural} (Editing)

2 Exile on Main St.: Part 1

May 9th – May 11th, 2011

When my alarm went off, I got out of bed and went for my morning run as usual. The run was just as dull as it always was. Today, Mr. Harris's dog didn't try to chase me, so I didn't even get to experience that tiny bit of excitement. I ran past the park, the laughing children, and through the woods, and before I knew it, I was back home.

I walked into the garage and wrapped my hands like Dean taught me. I began my regular punching bag routine until I started to feel a deep burn in my arms and shoulders. Sweaty and exhausted, I went upstairs and took a much-deserved shower.

After the shower, I went downstairs into the dining room and ate breakfast with everyone before heading off to work.

Later that afternoon, I went upstairs, removed my work clothes, and lay in bed. I rolled over and grabbed my phone to call Nate.

"Hey, Dimples, how was your day?" Nate asked.

I sighed. "Oh, you know, the usual, boring as hell."

He laughed. "Sounds riveting."

"Was your day filled with anything fun?" I asked, desperate for details.

"Well, Bobby and I finished that werewolf case I told you about," he said.

I groaned. "I'm so jealous."

He laughed. "Come on, it can't be that bad."

"No, it's, uh, it's pretty bad, Nate. I do the same thing every day. The only time I have any fun is when I go to paintball or my MMA class. But even those have regulations which automatically brings the fun down to a five out of ten." I sighed. "Plus, I haven't seen you or Bobby in almost a year."

Nate sighed. "Yeah, that part... I will agree, seriously sucks."

"I just wish Dean would let me visit you guys." I shook my head. "I can't believe we haven't gone anyway. I'm sure he wouldn't mind seeing you guys."

"I think he just wants to cut out that part of his life." Nate sighed. "Unfortunately, coming to see us opens it back up again."

I sighed. "Well, honestly, I've thought about leaving. Going out on my own. But I can't bring myself to leave Dean."

"Maddi, promise me you won't do that," Nate said very seriously, "You'll get yourself killed."

"I'm not going to. It's just something I think about a lot." I sighed. "I feel like I'm going crazy here."

Nate laughed.

"What?" I asked.

"You're probably like the only person who has gotten out of the life and desperately wants back in," Nate said.

I groaned. "I hate this cookie-cutter bull. I'm not made for this normal life crap. I'm telling you, I feel like my life is going nowhere now." I sighed. "Society makes people believe that someone my age should be going to prom. Then, I should be graduating. Then, I should be going to college. Then, I should be getting a fancy degree. Then, I should hopefully get a job in the field I studied. Then I should buy a house. Then, I should find someone to spend the rest of my life with. Then I should have kids. Then, if by a fifty-fifty chance, we don't get a divorce, I should grow old with this person." I sighed. "After all that, they want me to buy a burial plot with that person and then die."

"Okay, wow." Nate laughed. "Now, I'm depressed."

I laughed. "I'm sorry, but I seriously want back into the life. Whatever happens, I know I'll end up back there. This whole thing is just temporary. If I don't look at it like that, I really am going to lose my mind."