Moriuchi Frontmen

chapter 2

I stared into space as Rainer sat opposite me, strumming her guitar.

"Y/n, earth to y/n!" Em snapped her fingers in my face as she climbed into her own bunk. "Did Taka put some magic spell on you? You keep spacing out these days," I rolled my eyes at her.

"It's just that... Something's bugging me these days," Rainer stopped playing her guitar to look at me.

"What is it?"

"Why would he suddenly pop out such a wierd question?"

"What question?"

"He asked me if I've ever been in love. That's so stupid and out of the blue," I muttered before hugging my own pillow and pouting. "I don't even know what love is anymore," Elliot threw his pillow on my face.

"It's dumb of you to think that there's no such thing as love. Just because Casey and your family treated you this way, doesn't mean that love will always be that painful. Remember years ago when you started dating Casey? You talked about him 24/7 and you were like his number one fangirl," I sighed before grabbing my phone.

"I think I'll just get some fresh air for a while. And stop talking about Casey or my parents, I don't want to hear about them," I put my hands in my pocket before leaving the bus.

I brushed my feet against the floor, pushing away any fallen leaves as I sighed. I must have done so many bad things in my past life to meet some of the worst people alive. Casey was a nice guy. He was so sweet, so caring and always called before going to sleep. But after joining a band, he somehow... changed. He was a totally different person. He wasn't the Casey I knew anymore. He became just as abusive as my parents were, and I would never live a day without getting hurt somewhere by father, mother or him. That was until I decided to pack up and leave home. I couldn't stand being hurt anymore. I couldn't stand being in an abusive relationship, being abused by my parents. It probably was the most life changing decision of my life, but I never once regretted doing that. Anyways, they never bothered to find me after I ran away. I was fourteen then. Roaming the streets and stealing by day, earning only a few dollars that was barely enough to buy a meal through singing beside the streets by night. It was like playing a game of survival. Get caught by the police or any pimps, and you're done for. I starved myself and only had one meal a day, sometimes rewarding myself with stolen hotdogs from the roadside stall. I guess it was after living like this for 6 months, till I met Emery. I still remembered that night so clearly. I was singing "Nobody's Home" and Emery stood there, in front of me, throughout the whole song before giving me a fifty dollar note once I finished singing. She asked me to move in and live with her instead of living my life away on the streets like this and pursuaded me to join her band. Of course, I found that wierd. Who would ask a homeless person to move in with her and join a band? Apparently, this girl would. I turned her down so many times, but she would always find me every night, listen to me sing a couple of songs and give me a bunch of money before tellling me the same thing again and again. It probably took her a month or two before I eventually agreed to it and now, I'm in a band, doing crazy stuff everyday and being Em's best friend.

"Oh? Didn't expect to see you here," I turned around to the direction of the voice. Taka brisk walked to catch up with me as he placed his hands in his pocket and gave a gummy smile. I looked him from head to toe. His get up was pretty similiar to mine. He was wearing a grey plain loose tshirt with a leather jacket and black ripped jeans with black converse. "I think you have the same fashion style as me," He commented before pushing his hair to the back. Is he reading my mind now? We were wearing the same things except that I was wearing a Metallica black tee and a black beanie instead. "It's already 9pm. What are you up to here?"

"I'd ask you the same question."

"I'm here to get some fresh air. You too?" I nodded my head as we continued walking down the stone path. Not a single soul was around and apart from our footsteps and voices, the place was too quiet.

"It's nice to bump into you here," Taka widened his eyes slightly. "I forgot to bring my earpieces along, and I hate being in quiet places," There was a moment of silence as Taka got busy doing something.

"Here you go," He said as he handed me one side of the earbud. I took it and place it in my left ear, looking ahead as the song played into my ear.

Just the thought of another day

How did we end up this way

What did we do wrong

God?

I sighed. Why do such mean people exist? Why do people change for the worse? The people trusted most, loved most, failed me. If God truly exists, why must he give me the worst people to live with? Or is he preparing to give me a lifetime of bliss and happiness after so much suffering? Taka started singing along to his own song while we continued walking.

Even though the days go on

So far, so far away from

It seems so close

Always weighing on my shoulder

A time like no other

It all changed on that day

Sadness and so much pain

You can touch the sorrow here

I don't know what to blame

I just watch and watch again

I felt something drop on my cheeks as I quickly wiped it off. Tears? Why am I tearing up? Yet another drop fell on my cheeks as I quickly wiped it away before anyone would be able to notice it. My vision was blurred as I blindly walked ahead, only to feel Taka pull me to the side and sit me down on the wooden bench before sitting next to me. I hung my head low. Why am I breaking the promise I made to myself? I can't afford to let my guard down and be weak in front of anyone. I felt him dry my cheeks as I instinctively pulled his hands away. "I'm sorry,"

"There's nothing to be sorry about,"

"No... I shouldn't be tearing up or anything. It's really unusual for me and-"

"You're saying that you shouldn't cry, no matter how painful or upset you are inside?" I nodded my head. Crying only makes you seem weak and easy to target. Taka ran his fingers through my hair. "I don't know what's going on or what happened to you that makes you think this way, but it's okay to cry. It's okay to let out those tears once in a while. I'd rather you cry your hearts out than to keep all those feelings bottled in you," Yet another tear fell and landed on my jeans. Somehow, his words comforted me. As if I was convinced that it was okay to let out my feelings in front of him. A tear dropped again, and yet another as I let them fall without holding any tear back. Taka placed a hand on my back for a few seconds before pulling me towards him into a hug as I continued crying for the first time in 9 years.